You're DEAD To Me
by XShiori-chanX
Summary: I don't believe in Destiny or Fate, and Karma is a female dog. My life, which was perfect up until now, is falling apart. I caught my perfect fiance cheating on me, and I'm left broken and alone. Now it's all up to that jerk Roxas to pick up the pieces.
1. This Is The Life

**plot bunnies are evil little creatures. i swear. **

**this is just a random little thing that popped into my head and i had to write it down. i won't update it unless you review, so make sure you do if you like it. another plus, i won't update it until The** **_Outside Looking in_ is done. so yeah...**

**i own zip, nada, zero, zilch, goose eggs. Kingdom hearts does not belong to me! nor does party in the USA.**

**proceed!**

*********************************************************************************************************************************************

**Y o u r _D e a d_ T o Me**

"Namine! How's the new idea coming?" my best friend and boss, Kairi Rinasaki asked from behind me. She has shoulder length reddish brown hair with bright, big, always happy violet eyes. Her attitude was always positive, and she would stop at nothing to get her way. I jumped slightly.

"It's coming great, Kai." I told her, smiling and showing her the plans I had created. She beamed and wrapped me in a hug.

"Your brilliant! Keep up the good work!" she said with a wink, prancing away cheerfully. I turned back to the notebook laying on my white desk.

I know what your wondering. I'm Namine Suzumiya, Vise president and top producer of Destiny records. I make a living out of designing, planning, forming, and creating music video's for all of the top new, hip teenage sensations. My current project, done by one of my closest friends, Olette Itsukushima, for a song she wrote called _Party in the USA._ so far, it was coming along great.

I hit play on my ipod again and let the beat fill my big open office. I had made the dance and style up until the second chorus…I was having difficulties there.

_So I put my hands up_

_They're playing my song_

_The butterflies fly away…._

Got it!

I furiously scribbled the contents of my brain down onto the notebook laid before me. It came out as the worst, messiest unreadable scrawl you'd ever see, but hey? Who gives.

As long as I could read it!

"Hey babe. Have time for a little break?" a calm, seductive voice breathed on my neck. I giggled.

"No, sorry Riku. Kairi wants this done by five tonight. I'm only on the second chorus and I only have two hours left!" I replied sadly, pushing my fiancée away playfully. He pouted but pulled me in for a kiss. I gave him a quick peck and turned back to my work.

This, my friends, is Riku Kurosawa. He's hot, he's sexy, he's a god, he's all mine. Ranging at five foot seven with a perfectly built body and long, sexy silver hair, he's everything a girl would dream about on her prince charming.

"See you after work ok, treasure bear?" he cooed, walking back to my door. I blew him a kiss and winked.

Kairi, being the one person on Earth who has all the energy in the world and the worst timing, burst through my door before Riku could open it, knocking him down to the ground, and slammed her hand on my desk, sending papers flying every which way possible.

"You'd think that 20 years of that and I'd get used to it…"Riku mumbled before picking himself up and leaving. Kairi huffed dramatically.

"21, Riku!" she called behind him before turning to me, determination set on her face.

"Nami, I've got a job for you." she exclaimed, a wicked smile creeping onto her features. I'm pretty sure I have a facial expression emo enough to match Zexion's, our best photographer.

"What this time, Kai?" I sighed, trying to gather my papers together. Kairi beamed.

"I have recently discovered, that a young, hip, happening, super teenage heartthrob from Twilight town is moving here, to Destiny Islands! Do you know what that means?!" she slurred, her words coming out so fast they mixed together. I rolled my eyes and stacked my papers neatly on my desk again.

"No, I don't know what it means. Why don't you enlighten me?" I said sarcastically, pulling Olette's papers back in front of me and scribbling things down again.

"it means, all of the record companies here in the big league will be after him. I need him here. Business would boom, and plus, we could take that vacation to Agrabah your always talking about…." she pressed. My eyes lit up. I've been dying to go to Agrabah ever since I learned that they had the best view in the world. What artist would ever pass up an opportunity like that? Kairi pinpointed my weakness.

"Alright…so what do you want me to do about it?" I asked cautiously. Kairi squealed in delight and slammed a large manila envelop on my papers.

"Ok. He won't come to us I hear, you have to go to him. No one knows where he's staying here in Destiny Islands, so no one can ask him. Lucky for us, we've got connections. Turns out, he went to the same high school as us. He's also Sora's cousin of sorts." she explained. Sora was her husband. I always did wonder how he put up with her spunk.

Oh wait. It was cause he has the spunk too, just doubled.

"And…?" I asked, rolling my hands in a motion to tell her to continue. She took a deep breath.

"He's staying at Wonderland inn. The one close to our mansion. I need you to glamify yourself and head on over there, flirt with him, and make him sign on this line." she said, whipping out a contract in record speeds. my mouth dropped open.

"you sending me to do Xion's job?" I asked incredulously. She nodded her head.

"Xion's busy recruiting some chick from Atlantica. Ari…something. Anyway, I'm putting you on this duty. Your to leave at five exact, as soon as you finish Olette's video!" she said, zipping out the door in the most excited way. I sighed.

Better finish….

I finished Olette's video with ease, and with an hour to spare. Kairi, honestly pushing my buttons, then kidnapped me in her limo and took me to my mansion, exclaiming that my fashion sense was to 'normal.'

What was wrong with that?

"No…No….ugh! Nami, you have _Nothing_ classy to wear." Kairi sighed, raiding my closet. I sat on the bed staring out of my window.

"Kairi, honestly. This is me were talking about. I'm not famous like you are. So I never really had to worry about my look. I have a limited wardrobe, hence the size of my closet." o pointed out. It was the truth; Kairi had a walk-in closet the size of an average house. Mine was the size of your everyday average closet.

"Good point….to your dresser!" she shouted, swishing past me in a gust of wind and then processing to rip my dresser apart. I sighed.

"Kairi, really now. There's nothing-"

"Oh my golly gee goodness!" she randomly squealed, her voice echoing throughout my house. I clutched my ears in shock.

"What the hell Kairi?!"

"THIS IS PERFECT!!!" she shouted, launching a white blur at my head in a speed that could challenge a world record. I lifted the white garment up and examined it.

It was the dress I wore to prom in high school. A plan white spaghetti strap that traveled low to my ankles. I looked at Kairi, uncertain.

"Kai…this was from high school. I'm not sure I can still fit it…" I admitted. Kairi waved it off and ushered me in the bathroom.

"Of course it'll fit! You haven 't grown since your sophomore year, Nami." she shouted through the thick, polished wood surface. I sighed and slipped it on.

Amazingly, she was right. It fit like a charm, matching my curves and lines perfectly. Not a wrinkle to be seen. I grabbed a plain pearl necklace and some matching pearl earrings and put them on. Brushing the unruly knots out of my hair, I stepped out. Kairi examined me head to toe, and with a look of pleasure, grabbed my hand and dashed out of my room.

Lucky for me, we bumped into Riku.

"Kairi! Calm down woman! You'll run someone over, and I don't want it to be me." he sighed, stopping my auburn haired friend in her tracks. She pouted.

"treasure bear, why are you all dressed up?" he asked me curiously. I sighed.

"Riku, I've got to go blackmail a new top seller into signing, so I'll be home a little later, ok?" I told him, giving him another quick peck before Kairi sprinted down stairs with me in tow.

"No worries babe." he called after me. I smiled as Kairi threw me into her Limo and told Holly to hit the gas. Holly was her personal everything; cook, chauffer, hair stylist, make up artist, maid, everything you could think of, down to plumber.

She gets paid a lot.

Kairi told Holly to drop us off a block away from the hotel. From there, she had me, and me alone, walk to the hotel, ride the elevator to the 13th floor, and go to room 313.

Strange stuff, man.

I sheepishly knocked on the door, silently cussing Kairi out for making me do this. I glared at the swaying pattern on the wood surface, finding nothing better to do as I waited for this 'next generation teen sensation' to open his dang door. I heard some banging around, a large 'what the hell?! Oh." and then footsteps. A bright blue, shining ocean colored eye peered out at me from the little peep hole, and moments later, the door was open, revealing a tall, lean, muscular topless man with unkept blonde hair that spiked to one side. Seeing them up close, his wide blue eyes stared me down with interest. I tried my hardest not to blush as I looked at my feet. He was GORGEOUS.

No! no bad thoughts, Namine! Your engaged!

"Hey there gorgeous." he smirked.

Well there goes any good thoughts about him. I lifted my left hand, flashing the diamond ring Riku had bought me pretending to adjust it. His eyes traveled to my ring finger, and his smirk swayed slightly but it came back stronger than ever.

"No…My name is Namine Suzumiya, I work for Destiny Records. I've heard your one of the best from Twilight Town, so I was asked here to recruit you." I explained, annoyance leaking into my voice. The man smirked wider, leaning against the door frame.

"So it is you." he said, his eyes narrowing deviously. I stared at him, puzzled.

"You don't remember? High school graduation. Destiny Islands Academy." he drawled out. My eyes slowly widened. No….it couldn't be….

"Embarrassing video of you played to the entire class?" he continued.

It was silent.

Silence….

Insert dark, evil, demonic, if-looks-could-kill-you'd-be-dead-in-an-instant death glare here.

"_**Roxas?!"**_

"Hey Baby. Miss me?"

**_**********************************************************************_**

**the storyline of this came from what I'm doing as we speak…. Me and my friends are creating a party in the USA video parody, and I'm producing it! ;) its fun. Make sure you check the vid out! Just type in LaMoey. It'll be up in a few weeks time. it'll be epic, i promise you that. XD**

**anyway, so what do you think? should i try it out? or should i leave it dead? it's all up to you. three or more reviews that say yes keep my answer.**

**plus, for anyone reading this authors note, White BLood will be on hold until Outside looking in is completed....which won't be too long. i hope....so yah. this one will come after white blood. im gonna post them seperatly so i don't overwork myself...XD**

**please review if you wanna read more!**


	2. People are retards

**Chapter 2**

**yuppers. i'm back. already? your wondering? well, yeah. i like this story, like, ALOT, so i continued it anywhoselemeyers. ;)**

**disclaimer**

**you know the drill.**

* * *

"So…you work at Destiny Record Labels now?" he asked me, with that same cocky attitude he held throughout high school. My eye twitched as my hands shook in anger.

In case your wondering, this a-whole before me is none other than Roxas Akamura, aka, my one and only, worst nightmare, public enemy, booger in my nose freak show that made my life miserable since the first step I took in my Senior year of high school. He pestered me until no end, saying it was fun, and often played a little game he called 'let's see how many times we can poke Namine before she gets mad' with all of his friends. But worst of all, he broke into my house in the middle of the night, stole a video of me when I was a baby, and played it in front of the entire senior class at graduation. The video was one of my mother's favorite keepsakes, my first bath.

You can just imagine how disastrous that was.

(flashback)

"_Namine! We finally made it!" Kairi shouted in glee, enveloping me in a full on bear hug. She almost strangled me with the flowing sleeves of her graduation gown._

"_I know Kai! I actually survived a full year with Roxas!" I beamed, and we giggled together._

"_Hey there loser." Roxas smirked behind me. Not even his negative energy could bring me down today. I tackled him in a glomp._

"_We made it!" I shouted. He just stood there, stunned._

"_Namine…"_

"_It's alright Roxas. I don't hate you anymore. Friends?" I asked, holding out my hand. He stared at it in awe. But before he could shake it, the ceremony and begun, and I dashed off, meeting Kairi again._

"_Order! Order!" Ansem, our principal, called out into the crowd. Everyone quieted down and stared at him intently. He smiled, and four other teachers appeared, each holding a piece of paper rolled up in their hands. Kairi and I tried to conceal our excitement, silently shouting to ourselves in glee._

"_Jasmine Aber." he called, and the long list of names began. Roxas had gone up, his face clouded with remorse. I wonder why?_

"_Kairi Rinasaki." Kairi squealed her trademark squeal and sprinted headlong up the steps, drop tackled the principal to the ground, then continued on to grab her certificate. _

"_N-Namine Suzumiya." the winded Ansem called, and I slowly walked up the steps. _

_Everything after that happened after a blur. As I took the last step, getting ready to hug the principal, the large screen that was supposed to display photographs of everyone's lives rolled down, and small splashing noises sounded from a clip that was playing. I stared in horror, tears welling up In my eyes as the smaller, younger, naked me was splishing and splashing in the bathtub. I couldn't bare to watch, and instead I did the only thing I could._

_I ran._

_(end flashback)_

I died of humiliation. You can even ask Kairi. I defiantly locked myself in my apartment for _two months._ Roxas had the balls to hand deliver the video back, apologizing and saying it was just a joke, but the moment the video made contact with my hand, I chucked it at his head, shouting "burn that thing! I don't ever want to see it again in my life!" For a long time afterwards, Roxas would spend hours sitting outside my door, apologizing and apologizing, until he got fed up and permanently left for good, moving to Twilight town. That was the happiest day of my life. I rose from the ashes, joining Kairi in her multimillionaire business, and together, we became unstoppable. I never heard of Roxas again.

…until now.

"Dude? Blondie, wake up. I don't have all day." Roxas sighed, snapping his fingers in front of my face. I jumped and glared at him again.

"So what do you want me to do?" he asked, obviously bored. I resisted the urge to pounce on him and strangle him to death.

"Kairi, I'm sure you remember her, wants you to join Destiny Records." I said through my teeth. Roxas peeked at me, still smirking.

"Ok. Kairi wants me to come. But do _you_?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

The Hell I don't! I can't bare to breath the same air as you, let alone see your face everyday in my office!

…but….Agrabah….

"Y-y-yes." I struggled, the word refusing to come out of my mouth. Roxas deviously smiled.

Oh crud monkeys.

"How badly do you want me to sign?" he pressed, eyeing me. I glowered.

"Bad. Just please, please, _please_ sign it already!" I sighed, thrusting the paper at his face. He grabbed it but didn't read it.

"That's not very convincing." he said, turning around to close the door.

That is it.

I slammed my foot down before the door could close all the way and grabbed his arm.

"Listen here, you jerk. Your going to sign this contract. I'm not taking no for an answer. Agrabah is on the line. Now sign it, or ill personally strangle you, stab your body multiple times, shoot your head off with a bazooka, burn your remains, stomp on your ashes, and then scatter them in the ocean." I hissed. His eyes widened in fear and he wordlessly scribbled his name on the paper. I smirked in triumph.

"Thank you for your time!" I said cheerfully, scurrying down the hallway and rapidly pressing the button on the elevator.

"Bipolar much?" I heard Roxas mumble before he closed his door.

*************

"THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!" Kairi squealed when I gave her the paper the next day. The whole building had to plug their ears to block her out.

"For god's sake, Kairi! I'm only 27, I don't wanna be deaf!" Riku shouted from his office. She flipped him off and faced me again, glomping me.

"I knew you could convince him! You can't hold a grudge forever!" she squealed. Wait, pause. What was that?

"You _knew _it was Roxas?!" I growled, throwing the red head off of me. She rubbed the back of her head sheepishly and nodded. I screamed in anger and stormed off into my office. Riku followed after me.

"Honey, it's alright. You know how she is." he cooed. I threw a pillow at him.

"Don't act like you understand. You helped him, if I may remember." I hissed, recalling my disastrous senior year.

Back then, Roxas was top dog. Every girl wanted him, every guy wanted to be him. He had his own gang of buddies, including Sora, Riku, Hayner, (Olette's boyfriend) Axel, (Kairi's brother) Zexion, and Demyx. They ruled the school, per say.

On the other side, the queens of Destiny High, was were I resided. Kairi, Olette, Selphie, (now a model working under us) Xion, (our famous recruiter, who for some reason resents me) Larxene, Rinoa, Tifa (all models here in Kairi's empire) and I.

And for those who wonder, 'you're a record labeling business and you have models?' well, Kairi practically owns everything. And since I'm her right hand girl, I own it too. But yeah, anyway, we own a modeling agency, a theme park, a candy company, a magazine, and each our own fashion line. So yeah. Our friends had good connections.

"I've told you babe, I was young and immature. We got passed that, remember?" Riku said softly. I sighed.

"It's just….he makes me so angry." I said, rubbing my temples together. Riku massaged my shoulders.

"Don't worry treasure bear. Our wedding's coming up soon, so just focus on that, ok?" he breather, kissing me softly on the cheek before leaving. I sighed dreamily. My wedding day…the best day of my life. Kairi was making my wedding dress special, using maybe five to six of the best designers to plan the thing. Holly and my own everything maid, Rika, were busy making an outstanding cake made out of strawberries, my favorite. And just last week I sent out invitations to all of my friends and family. My mother and father were was arriving tomorrow. And finally, Riku had rented the island out a ways from the main land, the very same island where we all grew up together.

"My wedding day…" I sighed, imagining the whole ordeal. Xion knocked impatiently on my door.

"So, Namine. Roxas is recruited?" she said, showing no emotion on her face, though venom seeped into her tone. I snapped out of it and nodded.

"Good." was all she said before speeding down the hall and running into Riku's office.

Ok….

"Kairi! Where are my papers?" I called, and my read headed friend instantly popped up, beaming.

"no work today, Nami. Today, you try on your gorgeous gown of destiny." she sighed, dramatically twirling around with sparkles in her eyes. She grabbed my wrist and sped off to the elevator.

"Where are we going?" I asked her. She rapidly pressed the button.

"Hey, how many flights of stairs would we have to climb to reach the top floor?" she asked impatiently. Well, we were on the 13th floor…and the top floor was the 25th….

"12 floors. Just wait for the elevator-" too late. She was sprinting to the stairwell and already begun her climb. She never got tired either. I ended up dying after two floors, so she even picked me up continued to run. Once at the top, she dropped me off at a couch and ran forward, pulling the blinds open.

I always loved the top floor of our building. It was a grand, open, clear glass room with a view of the entire island. The floor was made of white marble, covered with a soft red rug that mirrored the red carpet. Two white couches were placed in the center, surrounding a clear glass table. Small bowls of untouched peanuts rested in the center.

"Ok Nami. Behold!" Kairi exclaimed, coming out with a mannequin wearing a gorgeous dress.

It was strapless and white, the thin white lace tying down my back and ending just above my waist, like a corset. The dress exploded beyond that, traveling to the ground, in a layer of three ruffles. The front side, had a very carefully crafted diamond studded pattern that sparkled in the light. I stared at it in awe.

"Kairi…it's amazing…" was all I sad as I ran up and began softly poking at the silk fabric. Kairi beamed.

"I know. It's a Rinasaki original. Only one of it's kind." she said, untying the dress off of the mannequin.

"Well, try it on! I need you to model." Kairi said, thrusting the dress at me. I stripped down where I stood and pulled the dress on over my head. Kairi smoothed out the wrinkles and pulled back, examining me. After about three circles around my body, she motioned to the door and I suddenly fell back into a chair. The makeup artists and Hair stylist bombarded me with their weapons, attacking me with lip stick, blush, a hair curler, and so on.

Hours later, they backed away from me, pulled the chair away, and Kairi called Zexion in.

"Alright Nami. Your goal is flirty, sexy, anything in between that, so pose!" Kairi exclaimed, backing away from me. I just smiled into the camera.

This isn't the first time Kairi's had me randomly do this.

"Good job!" she sighed as Zexion took the last shot. He plugged the camera into a laptop and ran through the pictures. I stared at them, a gasp of shock escaping my mouth.

I didn't look like Namine Suzumiya anymore. I looked like my mother during her wonderful wedding day. I remembered the pictures. My mother, Stella Suzumiya, was a model herself. She was the exact dictionary definition of Perfect, right up there next to Kairi. When she was just 18, she met my father, Noctis Suzumiya, and they instantly fell in love, marrying three years later. They've been happy ever since. About two years after that, I was created in the world, the perfect golden child. I inherited my mother's beauty, her hair, her eyes, her figure. I inherited my strength and senses from my father.

"Kairi…are these gonna be In the next issue of _Poupu flare?" _I asked her quietly. She nodded her head.

"Yup! It'll be released the day after your big day!" she sighed, imagining the wedding. I stared at the picture longer.

A wedding is every girls dream. It had to be grand, it had to be spectacular, it had to be expensive. It needed the best dress you ever will wear, the best cake you ever will eat, the best people there to experience it. The day Riku proposed, I almost died.

(flashback)

( A/N hold it! Oh my mother of Google, this will be very hard to think up. Give me some time….if it sucks, sorry.)

_We were walking down the beach of the islands, hand in hand, just passing time like any normal couple would. We'd been dating since I graduated high school. Riku walked silently next to me, obviously nervous about something. He led me through the small seaside shack and up the stairs, appearing again at the top of the bridge, gazing at the beautiful sunset._

"_Riku, it looks beautiful!" I cooed. He gulped and nodded. Confused and amused, I looked up at him._

"_What's wrong?" I asked sweetly. He finally smiled and stopped walking, facing me._

"_Namine, look down in the sand. Tell me what you see." he said, fumbling around with something in his jacket pocket. Puzzled, I did as I was told and peered over the edge, silently gasping._

_There, written neatly in a fine cursive were the words every girl would die to see._

Will you marry me?

_I looked back up at Riku, who was now kneeling, a gorgeous diamond ring held delicately in his fingers. A hand went up to my mouth and I just nodded, tears flowing freely._

_(dear god….you have NO idea how painful it is for me to make Riku purpose to Namine…especially when I want to personally murder him. So if you're a Riku hater like me, just imagine our fun loving blonde in his place, and it's much more romantic. =3)_

_(flashback over, btw)_

"Oh Nami, By the way, this came in. he wants it done by Thursday." Kairi said, popping my thought bubble with the thumbtack of her words. She was holding a black and white checkered folder in her hands. I took it, confused, and instantly scowled in disgust.

"Dear God Kairi. Do I have to?" I wined. She wagged a finger in front of my face.

"Now, Now Nams. It's your job, hate him or not." she said with a smile. I groaned and stomped off, this time taking the lazy way down the elevator.

Once I got to my office, however, my mood doubled in the gloom department.

Roxas was standing there, leaning against my desk chatting idly with a bunch of old friends of his.

Sora, Kairi's energetic husband, was a tall slim figure, with an explosion of chocolate brown hair shooting out every which way off of his head. He had a cheerful, happy-go-lucky disposition, and practically radiated sunshine. He owns a Keyblade dojo in town, selling and training people how to use a Keyblade. He also owned our theme parks, _Chain of Memories, _with our thrilling attractions like _The Beast's Wrath_.

Next to Sora was Hayner, Roxas' best friend. He was a spunky, pick fights kind of guy, but fortunately Olette kept him in balance. He had a messy array of Blonde hair on his head, and deep Hazel eyes. Hayner was the editor and publisher of our magazines.

Sitting in my chair was Axel, Roxas' other best friend and Kairi's brother. He was older than all of us, and taller for that part. He had the same fire red hair as Kairi, just without the brown tint. For some reason I will never know, when he was only five he had gone to a nearby tattoo parlor and gotten two red reverse teardrop patterns singed into his skin just under his emerald eyes. Axel didn't really do anything; He was just there, an accessory to our empire.

And lastly, Riku stood by Sora, laughing along with the others reminiscing their old memories.

Memories of the death of my social life.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed, and it was instantly silent. Axel leaped out of my chair, Sora coughed and jumped off of my desk, and Roxas smirked.

"Nami! Honey, we were just-"

"Catching up?" I asked, glaring holes at Roxas as I passed him and sat down at my chair. Riku nodded.

"I'm here because I'm _your _client, assigned to _you_." Roxas explained, putting heavy emphasis on those two words.

Remind me to kill Kairi.

"Yes, but what are you doing in my office?" I said through gritted teeth. Roxas only smirked wider.

"Because I felt like greeting you. How was life after senior year, Namine?" he pushed. I resisted the urge to throw something at his head. Sora, Hayner, Riku and Axel all laughed at the memory, but instantly quieted when I focused my glare on them.

"It was dreadful. You know, I will never forgive you for that, no matter how many weeks you spend on my doorstep." I seethed. The smirk instantly vanished and was replaced by a scowl. I smiled at him before turning to the rest.

"Out. Now." I commanded. They immediately dispersed, leaving me, Roxas, and Riku in the room.

"You stood on her doorstep for weeks?" Riku asked, cocking an eyebrow. Roxas glowered at him, then me.

"Yes, I did. I apologized for hours on end, killing half of my life, but she would never answer her door." he growled, before turning on his heel and following the rest away. I stuck my tongue out at him like a five year old. Riku chuckled.

"You know, I think he really is sorry." he said, coming over to me, I sighed.

"I just can't stand that jerk." I whispered, my hands clenched into fists. Riku massaged them and held my shaking fingers.

"Just forget about it. Don't look to the past. Keep moving forward." he murmured, kissing my forehead and waltzing out the door.

Keep moving forward, eh?

Fine. I huffed dramatically, flipping through Roxas's song list. I had to buy them on Itunes, listen to them thoroughly, then plan a vid, based on either the beat of the song or the lyrics.

I surfed the Itunes shop, typing his name into the search box. The results popped up quickly, and I bought his latest album, and listened to them, that scowl plastered on my face. But that scowl instantly flipped.

Listening to the depth of his songs…it was amazing. His voice, the lyrics, the beat. They all were so perfect, from the first song to the last. His own, self titled album was my favorite.

My life long enemy's album is my favorite.

I couldn't stop listening to it. It was amazing. One song, _Falling, _absolutely touched my heart. It just called out to me. It was so sweet, so beautiful, with an acoustic guitar as the only background. I immediately began my work on it, until Roxas came barging through my door.

"Why are you crying?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"I am not!" I countered, but when I rubbed my eyes, traitor tears revealed me. I laughed to myself. "So I am."

"Why?" he asked again, a curious look on his face.

"I heard your songs. I'm surprised even with that cold, cold heart of yours you can make such deep, sweet, emotional songs." I admitted, sighing dramatically and replaying _to be with you._

"I'm serious about my music. It's the only way I can vent the way I'm feeling." he murmured, sliding down to the floor and wrapping his arms around his legs. I stared at him.

"What do you mean?" I asked, surprised by his mysterious behavior. He looked up, and smiled sadly.

"Play _Falling." _he ordered. I did so wordlessly as the soft piano music filled my office.

"_feels like my lives are passing by…with happiness just behind the light…" _he sang softly, closing his eyes. I listened intently.

"You know, I've written this one song. But I've always needed a female vocalist. No one's good enough to make the cut. I've never let anyone listen to it…" he said after a while, pulling a small notepad out of his tan jacket. I eyed it curiously.

"Can I see it? I won't tell anybody…" I asked, giving him a puppy dog face. He vigorously shook his head and hid the notebook away.

"No! it's for…you know… 'the one.'" he said with air quotes. I rolled my eyes.

"Alright spiky. What song do you want to do?" I asked after. He walked up next to me and stared at my screen.

"_Crush_." he said, pointing at it. He then turned on his heel and walked out the door, muttering 'have fun.'

Jerk.

With such emotional songs….

But he's still a jerk.

Sighing, I moved my mouse over the song and clicked it.

-_____________________________~______________________________-

"Namine darling!" my mother shouted from across the airport, sprinting towards me. She slammed into me and picked me up, twirling around.

"Hello, mom. Dad." I greeted, smiling at both. My father was holding the luggage, his normal 'I-don't-give-a-****' expression on his face. He was clad in all black, as expected. My mother was the opposite, dressed in a white dress similar to mine. (A/N- seriously, has anyone seen Stella from final fantasy XIII versus? She looks EXACTLY like an older version of Namine. It freaked me out the first time I saw her.)

"Noctis dear, lighten up! It's our little girl's wedding day!" mother scolded, grabbing one piece of luggage from him. My father huffed in response.

He's not a people person.

I grabbed mom's white carrier from him as well and we left the airport together, loading into my limo, chatting animatedly about the wedding plans. Mother had the same views as me, and she always understood.

Her favorite color was white, mine is white. She had long, shiny blonde hair. I have long shiny blonde hair. She's a smart, carefree person, I'm a smart, carefree person.

Most of the time….

Father, was…yeah. But I inherited my strength from him. He was both mentally and physically strong, so no one really ever bothered him. Besides, his appearance was malevolent; one time Kairi said she thought he was a vampire.

"Here's my house." I announced, stopping in front of my Victorian mansion. Mother had sparkles in her eyes just looking at the grand building.

"Oh, it's such a beautiful house! Late fifties, maybe…good well kept grass lawn, stainless steel chilling gate complete with spikes…" mother sighed. She was a real estate agent, and she always got really close to her work. Rika dropped us off at the front and drove off to the garage, appearing seconds later before us at the door in her maid outfit.

"Rika, could you make tea?" I asked her, and she immediately vanished.

I'm gonna give that girl a raise.

"Here's your room." I said, pointing to our master guest room, set up just for my mother's enjoyment. She squeaked and literally flew into the room, examining every which corner. Father just threw the bags on the bed and sat down, pulling his bid buster sword out and placing it by the bed.

"Dad! You don't need that!" shouted, stabbing a finger at the blade. He ignored me and pulled out a gun and a spear to go with it, positioning them around the room.

"Dad!" I wined, backing away slowly. I had a fear of weapons, even though I literally grew up with them.

"Oh, honey, don't fret. We always come prepared!" mother chirped, pulling her rapier out from thin air. I paled.

"No weapons at the wedding." I hissed. They waved the comment off.

"Mr. and Mrs. Suzumiya!" Riku chided, coming into the room. Mother lit up like a Christmas tree and tackled him.

"Riku! I'm so happy for you! You'd better take care of my little girl!" she squealed. (I say squealed a lot. lol) father grunted.

"Riku! How about we go get some food?" I asked, motioning with my eyes that we needed to leave. He caught on and left with me.

"They are so embarrassing!" I complained, trying to hide my embarrassment. Riku rubbed my back.

"It's fine. They'll be here for a couple weeks, then they'll be gone forever." he comforted. I sighed.

"Just two more weeks…"

"And I'll be Mrs. Namine Kurosawa." I purred, and I noticed that his smile swayed slightly. Wonder why?

"Yes, Mrs. Kurosawa." he said, lost in thought. Something's wrong…oh well. I won't press.

"Hey, Riku? I've got to go back to the company. I need to finish Spiky's music video." I said, scowling. He laughed.

"Good luck, then." he said, and after a quick peck on the lips, ( A/N-just imagine it was Roxas! Ugh…you have no idea how hard it is to deal with this. XD)and ran down stairs, where Rika was already waiting with the limo.

Ninja person.

Definitely getting a raise.

-________________________________~_________________________________-

Arriving at the office, naturally I met the one person I resented the most.

"Sup Loser." he greeted.

"Sup Spiky." I greeted back, scowling.

"Spiky? Really now? That's the best you could do?" he remarked, following me in and closing the door behind him.

"No. but I'm not capable of being cruel to others, unlike you." I countered. That shut him up. He had that distant remorseful look again. He whispered something incoherent under his breath and faced me.

"Hey. All that stuff I did…I'm really sorry. I truly am. I don't care if you never forgive me. I just wanted you to know." he murmured, loud enough for me to hear. I blinked.

"Oh my goodness. You actually can be sensitive." I remarked coldly, turning my computer on and bringing his folders up. I saw him flinch in my peripheral vision and I instantly felt guilty. He backed up into the wall and slid down again, wrapping his arms around his legs and resting his chin on his knees. His eyes were distant.

"Really Namine. Can we please start over?" he whispered, staring at the ground. I bit my lip. He was serious. Dead serious. I've never seen him like this before. He's never said my name.

"This isn't a joke, right? Your not gonna hurt me again?" I asked, skeptical. His eyes shot up to mine and I literally drowned in my guilt. His normally bright, shining ocean blue eyes were greyer, like an ocean trapped in a storm.

"I won't. just….please." he whispered again, breaking away from my gaze. I was so tempted to just run over, wrap him up in a hug and comfort him, but I just sat there.

"Sure." I blurted out. He lit up, surprised, and smiled, a true, genuine, smirk-free smile.

"Cool. I'm Roxas." he said, standing up and raising a hand out. I stared at it and laughed lightly.

"And I'm Namine." I said, shaking his had. He smiled and went back to the wall, sitting down again.

"I can still call you spiky, right?" I asked randomly. I wasn't letting my senior year go that easily. Saying his name still bothered me. He chuckled and nodded.

"Alright Spiky. What did you wanna do for the video?"

* * *

**alrighto. so is it obvious that Roxas has always liked Nami and Riku's already cheating? if not, i just told you! ;3**

**so this was pretty much a filler chapter to fill you in on details of high school, her parents, her job, whatever. so yeah. and i made them friends (ish) again! ;3 lets see how long that lasts.**

**peace out sickas!**

**ps, everyone is around 25 years old.**


	3. Spiky, my Bestie Friendie

**I'M BACK IN BLACK (seriously) AND WITH A NEW NAME. CALL ME SHIORI!!!!!!!!!**

**yeah...for all you oblivious peeps, i was once Melodinami. (just putting it out there...)**

**Sup peeps! my testing is finally done. (for now, but i'm not dwelling on that)** **so here's the next chapter fo Yur Dead 2 me!!!!!**

**proceed with caution. not really, there's nothin bad, not even a swear. but still, proceed with caution.**

**;)**

**

* * *

**

**_you could be happy_**

**_and I won't know_**

**_but you wern't happy the day I watched you go_**

**Chapter 3 Spiky, my bestie friendie**

The next day, Spiky was….the slightest bit nicer. He wasn't as mean with the jokes, thank goodness. And he stopped calling me 'Blondie' and started calling me by my name, much to my joy. But for right now, Spiky could have been the most frustrated person in the world.

But his frustration was nothing compared to mine.

"No Spiky! You have to take your jacket off!" I shouted for the fifty bagillionth time today. He glared at me.

"Namine, you realize it's fifty freakin degrees out here?!" he would shout back.

Right now, Kairi, Roxas, Riku, and I are out here on a small, secluded little lake bed filming Roxas's music video for _crush_.

Yeah, I'm that fast. They don't call me professional for nothing.

"Spiky, look at them! It's fifty degrees outside, and they're in the water!" I shouted back, pointing at my background display. I needed a group of people, posing as 'teenagers' having fun at a country club. I planned it all, and had gathered some of my close friends already, who were splashing each other in the murky water. Roxas scowled at me.

"Why do you want to film this now?!" he asked, reluctantly removing his tan colored jacket. I tapped my foot impatiently.

"Because Kairi wants it done!" I finally screeched, stomping back to the directors chair. Kairi sat inside it, silently watching our squabble in amusement.

"She's right. I need this thing done pronto!" she said through her big, pink megaphone. She smiled and waved at the agitated Roxas.

"Alright, Garnet, Zidane, Rikku, Yuna, Tidus, Roxas, go!" she shouted. Roxas sat on the edge of the bridge and lip synched as the rest of the gang continued their fun. His main love interest in this video was Rikku, a fair blonde-ish, red haired girl. She was spunky and active, and was a distant cousin of mine. She was more than happy to join the video.

Riku was behind the camera, our faithful cameraman and editor. He was also enjoying the scene Roxas and I were creating, thinking it was 'cute'. I was more the less just there to give tips on where things went and how things were done.

"Cut!" Kairi shouted, flinging her self out of the chair picking it up with one hand. "To the Woodland house!"

My background groaned and grabbed towels, their teeth chattering away as soon as they emerged from the lake. Roxas immediately put his jacket back on, and sprinted after Kairi, desperately wanting warm air.

Pansy.

This 'woodland house' Kairi spoke of was actually just an average house surrounded by trees. It belonged to Zidane and Garnet, also known as dagger, who were quite small for their age. And Zidane had a tail….but that's beside the point.

"Alright. Spiky! Come here you pansy!" I shouted, aggravated. I was always strict about these things. Someone had to be, or else they would never be done.

"No! it's freezing! Film the scene inside first!" he would call back. I growled.

"Fine!" I shouted, stepping into the house. In the corner, our set, was a fluffy white couch and a cedar table.

"Sit there." I ordered, pushing Spiky into the spot. He stuck his tongue out at me. In response, I shoved a guitar into his chest and smirked at his pained expression.

"Now, pretend to play that as you sing." I said, walking away and standing behind Kairi. The whole background gang, having dried off and returned to their original outfits, all sat around him, pretending to be happy and having a good time.

"Action!" Kairi shouted through her megaphone.

To my surprise, Spiky didn't pretend to play, he was actually playing. I think everyone already knew most artists played some kind of instrument, but this was a first. Spiky was the first person I've ever met who was musically talented with his voice and his hands.

Except Kairi, of course.

But she doesn't count. She can do anything.

Seriously.

He smirked at me, playing and lip synching, until the scene ended. Kairi, being the strange, beyond hyper person she was, shoved us all outside, and had set up in two minutes. I walked over to Spiky.

"Impressed, I see?" he teased. I rolled my eyes but smiled.

"Shut up and sit on the rails." I commanded, but lightly this time. He smiled.

"See? Now was it so hard to give a nice command instead of barking things at me?" he commented, propping himself on the red railings like I told him too.

"Yes it was. Kairi!" I said, rushing back behind Riku.

"Action!"

So the day rolled by. We filmed only half of the video, but that was more the less expected. It takes about two days to make a video. Right now, Riku and Kairi had returned to the office for some serious editing, and thus forced me to tag along and go home with Spiky. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention…

Spiky, for some unknown reason, had mysteriously lit his hotel room on fire. Don't ask, because he won't tell us anything. So now, because of Kairi and her big fat mouth, Roxas was staying at my house, inside my other guest room. I have a lot of guest rooms, trust me.

I also made sure he was far, far, _far_ away from me and my parents.

"Say Namine? How long does it normally take to make a music video?" he asked me as we started our walk back to my mansion. As my raise, I gave Rika a week off, so my limo was currently unavailable.

"Normally, depending on how much the artist cooperates," he rolled his eyes, "it would take about two days."

"Oh. Ok then."

"Why do you ask?" I pressed, he peeked at me from the corner of his eye.

"Just wondering. I was writing a new song." he answered. I think I lit up.

"OOH! What kind of song?" I asked, excited. I loved music almost as much as art.

"Not telling." he said, sticking his tongue out at me. I pouted and we fell into a comfortable silence.

"Hey Spiky? Who is that song about?" I asked randomly. He stiffened slightly and his eyes roamed around, trying to find something to distract himself. I narrowed my eyes slightly.

"W-which one?" he stuttered, avoiding my gaze. My curiosity flared.

"_Crush_, dummy." I giggled. He blushed slightly and looked down, speeding up. I struggled to keep pace.

"N-no one." he said, still walking at a speedy pace. I grabbed his arm and stopped him.

"Why on Earth are you rushing? And honestly, I know your lying." I said, picking up the slow pace again. Spiky reluctantly slowed down and walked next to me.

"Who's the girl?" I asked again, trying to look into his eyes. He flushed a dark shade of red.

"T-this g-girl…I m-met in s-second grade…that's when I wrote it." he answered. I pouted in response. (A/N musical genius! Writing a song like crush in second grade! lol)

"Does this girl have a name?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"Na…"

"Na…?" I pressed. He just blushed more.

"Um… Nanami! Yeah. Nanami…"he said, as if he just saved himself from saying something he shouldn't have been saying. I smiled.

"Aw, little Woxie had a crush in second gwade?" I chuckled, watching his blush creep up again.

"Shut up…" he said, pouting and looking away.

"So, what did she look like?" I pressed, putting my hands behind my back and staring at him.

"She had blonde hair…"

"Yeah…"

"And Blue eyes…"

"Go on…"

"And she always liked white." he finished, looking away again. Odd. He seemed to be describing me. I was a blonde with blue eyes, and white had always been my favorite color since the day I was born. But I hadn't met Roxas until high school…

"She was my best friend." he sighed, sadness entering his tone and his eyes again.

"What happened to her?"

"Not her, me. I moved away to Radiant Garden." he answered sadly. I felt bad for him.

Ew. Why?

"Sorry." I murmured. He shook his head.

"Not your fault. She doesn't remember me anymore anyway." he sighed again. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up.

"How do you know she doesn't remember you?" I asked, curiosity taking over again. His eyes quickly flashed to my face.

"I just know." he replied, and refused to say anything more after that.

"What about the rest of your songs? Who are they about?" I asked after a while. Songs that deep had to have some kind of story behind them.

"Which one?" he sighed, defeated. I smiled.

"_A Little Too Not Over You._" I asked. He blushed slightly again.

"Skip."

"What? No! that's one of your best songs!" I complained, putting my hands on my hips and pouting. He chuckled.

"Not Telling." he said, mirroring my child like behavior.

"Fine. What about _Touch My Hand_?" I pressed. I wanted answers.

"I wrote that for my ninth grade talent show." he answered simply. Now that you think about it, I did hear that song somewhere before…but it couldn't have been him. He only moved to Twilight town senior year.

"Oh. Ok then…_Falling?_" I asked. He shrugged.

"That was after I moved back here, to Destiny Islands. I was kind of in a depression." he replied, hanging his head slightly.

"Why were you depressed?" I asked, my eyes narrowing and my head cocking to the side. We were coming up my lawn now.

"Because you didn't forgive me." he murmured, speeding into the house. I froze.

I was the reason he wrote such a depressing song?

Guilt started flowing through my veins. I did that to him? I had no idea. But….something in my gut just wouldn't let me forgive him for what he did. I went through depression myself because of it. I won't let it go. Never.

I entered the house quietly, tip-toeing up to my room. My parents were out somewhere, probably enjoying the sights, so the house was quiet. I couldn't even hear Spiky, who now resided in the other side of my house.

Way, way, _way_ down there.

Sighing, I just planted my butt on the couch in my living room and watched TV, mindlessly flipping through channels.

Maybe an hour or so later, Riku plopped down next to me.

"Hey, sugar." he greeted, kissing me softly.

"Hi there." I said back, continuing my channel surfing. After about ten minutes of silence, Riku grabbed the remote from my hand and turned the TV off.

"Hey!" I wined, folding my arms over my chest and pouting. He smiled.

"How about we go out for dinner? It's been a while since it was just the two of us." he asked. I lit up.

"Sure! Where to?" I asked, excited. He chuckled.

"How about Neverland's Exotic? They have great Sea food." he prompted. I nodded my head.

"Sure. Let me go get ready; that place is classy." I said, jumping off of the couch and running off. I burst through my door, rampaging my closet again. Finding nothing, I did the most stupidest thing ever to do.

I called Kairi.

"Helloes?" She chirped on the other end. I flinched slightly.

"Kairi…fashion emergency." was all I said, and the other line went dead. I stared at the beeping phone in my hand blankly as Kairi burst in through my door.

"I came as fast as I could!" she huffed, a large dry cleaning bag hanging from her arm. I sighed. She always did this. You get pretty used to it. She thrust the bag into my arms, unzipping it in the process. The white folds glided down to the ground, revealing my garments for tonight.

Kairi arranged a cute outfit. It was pretty normal, but had a classy edge to it. It was acute white dress with a baby blue glow to it, made of silk directly imported from China. It ended just below my knees, and had a soft, tiny baby blue bow wrapped around the waist. It was spaghetti strapped. I threw it one quickly, smoothing the wrinkles out. Kairi nodded her head in approval, grabbing a white hair pin with small strings of fake flowers hanging off of it and using it to pin my hair up into a bun. She snatched a pair of dark blue ballet flats from my closet and threw them at me.

"That makes a good outfit. Oh! I forgot to ask. What's the occasion?" she chirped, sitting Indian style on my bed, curiously emanating from her very being.

"Riku's taking me out to dinner tonight." I answered simply. She frowned ever so slightly but then smiled.

"OK…" she said, looking away, distant. Oh noes. Something's wrong.

"Kairi…what are you planning?" I asked dismally. She just shrugged and waved me away.

"Oh Nothing, Nothing dear. Just run along and have fun!" she said, her normal spunk returning. I gave her one last skeptical look before flying out the door. I heard her say one last thing.

"If only you knew the truth…"

-_________________________________~___________________________________-

Dinner with Riku was amazing. I had the best salad I ever will have, while Riku ate his normal lobster dish made just the way he liked it.

"Good?" he asked. I nodded my head enthusiastically. It was heaven…soft, yet crunchy green leaves, spinach and lettuce, with bits and pieces of chicken, croutons and won-ton strips, all topped off with a complicated Chinese dressing. I was having a party in my mouth. Riku chuckled at my expression. We ate in a comfortable silence afterwards; there really wasn't anything eventful to talk about. Of course, towards the end of our meal, both got a phone call, simultaneously at the same time. We both laughed as our ring tones played.

"Hello?" I asked pleasantly into the receiver. A panicked Kairi breathed heavily on the other side.

"Hello?" Riku answered his own phone, a blackberry, and his face instantly clouded with worry.

"Namine! You'd better get over here quick!" Kairi shouted. I cringed away from her voice.

"Kai, what's wrong?" I asked, worried. She huffed.

"No time to explain! Just get over here!" _click! Beep…beep…beep…_

Ok…

"Alright. I'll be down at the office as soon as possible." Riku said calmly to his phone, pressing the end button. We both sighed.

"Duty calls." he said, shaking the phone slightly. I giggled.

"Ditto. See you later." I said, and we paid the bill and sprinted off on our separate ways.

Running along the sidewalk, stumbling each time my slipper flew off of my foot, I dialed Kairi's number again and waited for her to pick up.

"Hello?" she asked, jubilant. I narrowed my eyes in suspicion.

"Kairi…what's this emergency?" I huffed into the receiver, my tone annoyed.

"Um…um…there's…ROXAS STARTED A FIRE!" she shouted, and I instantly paled.

Then flushed in anger.

"Spiky. Did. _What?_" I seethed, boiling over. My anger traveled down to my feet, and I started running faster. "What did he do?!"

"He…um…tried…to um….cook." Kairi stuttered, as if trying to find the right words. My suspicion grew.

"Your not making this up, are you?" I asked, running up my lawn and fumbling through the door. There wasn't any smoke; and the smoke detectors weren't going off. Kairi coughed on the other end, then started whispering.

"Well….yes. But since your already here, come over to the west wing. It'll explain everything." she said, ending the call. I sighed, throwing my phone on the counter by the door, then sulked my way over to the west wing.

Spiky's wing.

Coming up the stairs, I heard the soft, melodious hum of a piano reverberating off of the walls. It was soothing, and my anger quickly diminished. I spotted Kairi peeking through the door to my music room. I crept up to her, curiously peeking at what she was looking at. She turned to me and smiled, bringing a finger to her lips and making the 'shhhhh' sound. I rolled my eyes but she let me look.

Spiky was seated at my grand classic black piano, his expression so sad it was painful to look at. He had that same small notebook propped up on the stand in front of him, carefully looking at it every now and then. He would start to play, think he messed up, smack his forehead, then start to play again. Finally, when he thought he got the melody down, which was so depressingly emo, he started to sing, closing his eyes.

"_I've been alone, so many nights now. _

_And I've been waiting for the stars to fall._

_I keep holding out for what I don't know_

_To be with you…_

_Just to be with you."_

It. Was. _beautiful._ so very emotional, so sweet, so passionate. I nearly squealed in delight at the thought of putting the song on an album and sending it around worldwide, so everyone could hear this Amazing-ness.

"_So here I am, staring at the moon tonight_

_Wondering how you look in this light_

_Maybe your somewhere thinking about me too_

_To be with you…_

_There's nothing I wouldn't do."_

There was a meaning behind the lyrics. That's what made it so deep. Sighing in content, Spiky stopped, Scratched his head, and sighed again, walking over to the Balcony window. He opened the door, stepping out and closing the door behind him. Kairi snickered behind me at my amazed expression.

"I think your happy I called you here." she said, closing the door. We both leaned against it. I slapped her lightly on the shoulder.

"No, you pulled me away from Riku!" I said, smiling. She smiled back. "It's ok though. He had to run to the office; emergency." I said. Kairi's smile wavered.

"I see."

"It's a beautiful song." she commented soon after. I nodded my head and closed my eyes.

"It is. I wonder who it's about?" I asked, more to myself. Kairi answered anyway.

"I know who. If only she knew…" she mumbled, sighing. I opened my eyes and stared at her far away look.

"Kairi? What's wrong?" I asked, truly concerned. Kairi never acts like this. Never. She shook her head violently and beamed at me.

"It's nothing. Just forget I said anything." she said, rising to her feet and stalking off quickly. Very suspicious….

I decided to go pester Spiky, saying to as I didn't have anything else to do. I just waltzed in-it was my house- and went straight for the balcony, stepping out into the cool, nigh air. Spiky turned around, surprised.

"Sup Spikes." I greeted, standing next to him. He chuckled once without humor.

"Hello, Namine." he greeted back, staring at the sky. I leaned forward slightly, to look at his face, with my hands behind my back. He was distant, as always, but this time he had a peaceful calm about him. The sea winds tossed his messy blonde spikes around, making them dance in the air. My hair just kept flying into my mouth. After some time, he peeked at my curious expression and cracked a smile.

"What?" he asked, smirking that ever so annoying smirk of his. I stuck my tongue out in response.

"I was just wondering…I overheard your song. Who is it about?" I asked, cocking my head to one side. His smirk vanished, and his face looked depressed again.

"It's no one. It's not like she'll know I'm singing to her." he replied, staring at the stars again. My brow furrowed in confusion.

"What do you mean? It's this Nanami girl, isn't it? Well, if you were besties in second grade, I'll bet she's looking for you." I said, trying to cheer him up. I only made it worse because he flinched at my words.

"I wish you were right." he said, sighing and looking down at the ground.

Awkward. Silence.

"Ok…so…um, Spi- I mean, Roxas? I'm going to bed." I said, smiling at the way his name rolled off my tongue.

Whoa. Back peddle. Your taken Namine, no bad thoughts.

"Aw, you called my by my name." he said in mock sincerity. I playfully punched his shoulder.

"Tomorrow, meet me in Tifa's café. I think I can cover for your lost bestie. So we need to learn a little bit more about each other, skipping High school, of course." I said. He smiled.

"Sure. See you there."

I smiled, slowly stepping back into the house.

-____________________________________~_________________________________-

(Roxas POV)

If only she knew she was that second grader. She was my best friend.

If only she knew I fell in love with her that day we became 'besties' as she put it.

If only I didn't move away.

If only she noticed me in ninth grade.

If only she realized I existed through out sophomore and junior year.

If only I didn't do that stupid "I'm-only-mean-to-you-because-I-love-you" thing on senior year, when she finally noticed my presence.

If only she remembered me, 'Roxie' from Mrs. Awakara's second grade class.

If only she knew I didn't pull that nasty prank on her at graduation. Sure, I was in on it, but I was against it. It wasn't my plan. It was Riku's.

If only she knew that Riku had used me to get to her.

But know, she's getting married to him.

If only she knew…he was cheating on her.

If only she knew…that I would never do that.

If only she knew…

_That I loved her._

Then my world would be complete.

**_is it to late to remind you_**

**_how we were..._**

**_you could be happy_**

**_i hope you are_**

**_you've made me happier than i've been by far_**

* * *

**can anyone guess who's songs Roxie is singing? it's actually fairly obvious. but you should all go and listen to them! they are outstanding. i love DA....**

**SO YEAH. we got to peek into Roxie's brain today! yippers. so now you know how he feels. it's important really. it leads the story forward. btw, i'm not gonna put anymore of Roxas's POV because it just gets really confusing, and people start hate'n, and yeah and stuff.**

**i drew a pretty flower today. i'm a happy camper. my drawing skills are pretty limited, so this is BIG. XD**

**oooooooook. another btw, the song at the end is "you could be happy" by snow patrol. it is the CUTEST little song. go and listen! choppity chop chop!**

**the FINAL BTW, outside looking in is having a little trouble. i've hit that stupid mother fudger of a wall we call writers block in my brain, so all you peeps out there that read it, soo soooorry for a late update. please understand. DX**

**lastly, i am so entirely bored. so very bored bored bored bored bored bored vbored boerdoboredobredobredobtredboebbdrboeobeboerbeordrgbeobebdoeroebored.**

**goodnight....**

**DON"T LET KATIE FIND YOU!!!!!!!!!!**


	4. psychoanalysis

**C h a p t e r 4**

**psycho a n a l y s i s**

* * *

I woke up pretty early, so I just dressed and dashed out, smiling and skipping away to Tifa's seventh heaven café. It was a short walk from my mansion, considering Tifa's adopted daughter Marlene was one of our top artists. She decided to move closer to her, to be able to support her and be a loving mother. The father, Cloud, was one of my father's friends, and was pretty much antisocial.

Seriously, put Kairi's dad, Leon, my dad, Noctis, and Marlene's dad, Cloud together, and you've got an emo party. Add Zexion, and then things get crazy.

I pushed the door open, being welcomed by the cheerful sound of bells, and I skipped up to the counter, smiling like an idiot.

"Namine!" a tall, skinny woman with long dark brown hair greeted. She was wearing her typical martial arts outfit, a black piece with matching gloves. "It's been so long! How are you?"

"Hey, Tifa. I've been great; did you hear? Marlene's album just went Platinum in the Pride Lands!" I told her. She beamed.

"Yeah, Marls told me. I'm so proud of her!" she squealed.

"Namine!" a shocked, still squeaky boyish voice called from the stairs. I turned to it, and found a young boy with shaggy hair covering his face staring at me.

"Denzel!" I called back, and he smiled, running up to give me a hug. We were close; I always babysat him when he was a kid.

"Wow, you grew! How old are you now?" I asked him. He had noticeable matured. He grinned at me.

"eighteen." he replied. I stared at him. Eighteen years old? He was short…and his voice was still high pitched….ouch.

"Aw, it's so good to see you guys!" I gushed, facing Tifa again. She smiled and started cleaning a glass.

"So what brings you here Nami?" she asked. I shrugged.

"A new kid at the company, don't know if you heard of him, recently started bunking at my place cuz he lit his hotel room on fire." their eyes widened slightly, but I continued. "he turned out to be pretty cool, and we became friends. I asked him to meet me here."

"Aw, Nami! You finally found yourself a boyfriend!" Tifa commented, giving me that 'how adorable!' face. I pouted.

"Tifa…I'm engaged…" I told her, holding out the ring. She started glowing, staring at the diamond in awe.

"You've just met the guy and he's already proposed to you?! How sweeeeeet!!!" she drawled out the word, bubbling over with excitement. I rolled my eyes.

"No! Roxas is a friend. Just a friend. Nothing more. I'm engaged to Riku now. Do you remember him?" I asked, pulling the ring away before she started kissing it.

"Oh! Riku? Your marring _Riku?!" _she asked, her excitement vanishing, incredulity taking it's place. What is with everyone and their grudges against my fiancée?

"Yes, Riku. Riku Kurosawa." I explained, rolling my eyes again. Tifa looked hurt and distant. I cocked my head to the side, confused.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked innocently. She seemed to realized I was staring at her and quickly composed her face, disappearing behind the bar.

"Tifa?" I called after her, in my whiny pout voice. She never returned. I faced Denzel instead, who had a look of disappointment on his face, as he shook his head sadly and sulked back up the stairs.

What's with emo people today?

"Hey, Namine." a certain voice sighed behind me. I smiled and whizzed around, excited to see a happy face, but only to be frustrated at the sight of a sad, mopey Roxas. I pouted.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked, annoyance leaking into my voice, he looked up, and I noticed the heavy set of bags under each eye.

"Didn't get much sleep. I was thinking." he answered, yawning and collapsing into a nearby booth. I sat down across from him, my past anger gone and replaced by worry.

"You ok? Or maybe we should meet another time…you look like you need some Z's." I told him truthfully. He just shrugged.

"Naw. I'll be fine. It's to good of a day to go back to sleep." he said, stifling another yawn. I raised an eyebrow but let it go.

"So, Nams." he said, looking me in the eyes with his elbows propped on the table. For some reason, the nickname seemed very familiar… "what do you wanna know?"

"Where were you born?" I asked, mirroring his posture and propping both of my elbows on the table.

"Here. You?" he asked right back.

"Here. What school did you go to from first to fifth grade?" I shot back. I now felt like we were in a game show, and we had to quickly answer each other and then launch another question all under a strict time limit.

"I went to Destiny Islands heritage academy for first and second grade, then I moved to Twilight town and attended Back alley Elementary third through eighth." he answered quickly, then nodding for my answer.

"I've been to Destiny Islands heritage academy for all my years." I replied, then paused, thinking. "Did I know you when we were kids?" same school, familiar nickname…and I recall a blonde boy who used to give me his graham crackers all the time. Could it…? Naw.

"No." he answered quickly, too quickly. He pulled his gaze away from mine then shot another question.

"Where did you go to high school for the first few years?" he asked me. It seemed like he already knew the answer, but I answered anyway.

"Same school. I moved to Twilight town after eighth grade with Kairi and Sora." I said, nodding to him to answer.

"I was at the same high school all four years." he murmured, still refusing to look at me. I blinked.

"You did?" I asked incredulously, leaning forward on the table slightly. He finally turned to me, his voice reproachful.

"Yeah. I remember. You were the top class clique. I was in the bottom." he sighed. Resting his chin on his clasped hands. I fidgeted around and put my chin in my hands, crossing my legs under the table. I remember that clearly. Kairi's wealth and my position as her best friend had landed us at the top of the lists. We were called the queens, per say. Under us were the pretty people, the average Joes, the weirdoes, and at the very bottom was the loners.

"You, Roxas Akamura, senior heart throb, was a loner in freshman, sophomore, and junior year?" I asked, that pitch of incredulity still high in my voice. He chuckled and simply nodded his head. I still stared at him, wide eyed.

"Is that really too hard for you to comprehend?" he asked, slightly amused. I nodded my head.

"It is. I always thought you moved to Twilight High in senior year." I told him truthfully. His lips pressed down into a hard line.

"I was always there, getting bullied by those friends of yours." he said quietly. I scowled.

"Is that why you bugged me to death in senior year?" I asked, slightly ticked off. He shook his head frantically.

"Good heavens no! I only picked on you because your so easily picked on. I did it once, and It became addicting." he admitted, grinning deviously at my glower. I decided to ignore that comment.

"Which one of my friends picked on you?"

"Selphie, for the most part, but I understand that she's gaga over me now." he laughed once with out humor, "Hayner, though he's my best friend right now, Seifer, whom I still hate to this day, Larxene, who is now a close friend, and who could forget Riku." he scowled at the mere mention of his name.

_Great. _I thought. _Another Riku hater._

"What's with everyone and their problems with my fiancée?" I asked grudgingly. Roxas blinked. He opened his mouth to say something, then bit his lip and shook his head. He wore a pained look.

"He's my friend now. So it's all good." he said instead, looking away from me again. I narrowed my eyes.

"What are you hiding?" I asked him. He turned back to me, his expression composed.

"What do you mean?" he asked innocently. I rolled my eyes.

"I have a theory. When you look away, your either lying or skipping important details of the truth. You just did it right now." I explained. He blinked, then to my surprise, he chuckled.

"You notice everything, don't you?"

"I'm pretty observant."

"Well, Mrs. Observant, I'm not telling you what I'm hiding."

"Why not?" I pouted, uncrossing my legs.

"Because. I'm allowed to have my own secrets, am I not?" he asked, playfully smiling. I rolled my eyes and smiled back, defeated.

"Fine. Tell me more about your second grade crush slash best friend." I asked. He immediately paled, taking a sharp intake of breath and never exhaling it. I could see it was a touchy subject. "Or not…"

"I prefer 'or not'." he sighed, releasing his held breath and looking down sadly. He just shook his head and faced me, jaw set.

"How many boyfriends have you had?"

I immediately blushed at that sentence. "To tell you the truth, Riku was my only boyfriend, ever. But I remember having a crush on a boy when I was younger." I admitted, grinning sheepishly. Roxas only blinked, astonished.

"What about you?" I asked. He shrugged.

"Never. But I've had plenty of crushes." he said, grabbing the salt dispenser and playing with it. "Where did you go after high school?"

"College. In Radiant Gardens. You?"

"Same. College, but in Twilight Town." he said, then launched into the next one with out a pause. "What did you do afterwards?"

"I built the Rinasaki slash Suzumiya empire with Kairi. You?"

"I started singing at a nearby café. Record label found me there, and I got signed. But I hated the dude, pain in my butt, so I left and came here, where you found me and not so nicely asked me to sign Rinasaki labels." he explained, eyeing me with a raised eyebrow. I recalled what I had threatened and smirked.

"Didn't think I had that in me, did ya?" I asked, crossing my arms. He shook his head and chuckled.

"Never knew. Caught me off guard; it was the first time I was ever, truly afraid of you." he said, now laughing more loudly. I joined in.

"Hello! You must be Roxas. I'm Tifa, owner of the café. Can I get you anything?" Tifa asked, literally popping up out of no where. I flinched and Roxas jumped.

"Um…h-hello Tifa. Can I have some water?" he asked, stunned by her sudden appearance. It was as if she was listening in this whole time…

"Nami?" she turned to me, a smirk evident on her face. I scowled.

"The norm."

"Alrighty then! Coming right up!" Tifa said dramatically, disappearing again behind her counter. We both just stared after her, unmoving.

"ok then… um…your favorite color?" I asked after a while. He turned back to me, still slightly dazed from the unexpected encounter.

"I have two favorite colors. Black and White. Like night and day, the light in every heart evens out all of the darkness." he said, looking out the window and speaking softer and softer.

"Your deep, you know? Like, real deep. Bottom of the ocean deep. And emo. Really emo. Like Zexion emo, but not quite. What happened to you?" I asked. He made a face at my descriptions.

"College happened. I couldn't goof off anymore. Sucked. But here I am, singing and using nothing I learned in that damn school. So I wasted four years of my life! But if this singing thing doesn't work out, I'm going to be a vet." he said. I understood immediately. College was such a pain. Even though I went to art school, it was still such a pain.

"And your favorite color is white." he pointed out, smirking. I narrowed my eyes again.

"How do you know?"

"Honestly Nams. You wear nothing but white, your house, your walls, your carpets, your ceiling, even most of the floral decorations around there are all white. I notice things like that. Take Kairi for example. He favorite color is Pink. She wears nothing but pink, most of her designer brand dresses are pink, and even her wedding dress had a tinge of pink in it. On their first date, Sora gave her pink flowers, and she loved them. She told me once her favorite animal was a flamingo. She wanted one for Christmas when she was five." he chuckled. He was right. About everything.

"How do you know about Kairi?" I asked skeptically.

"Um, hello? I'm practically related to the girl. Her husband is my cousin? I was the best man at the wedding? Does any of this ring a bell in your little head?" he taunted, chuckling again. I pouted.

"You were best man? I was the only bridesmaid. That's not cool! Why didn't I notice you?" I wined. His humor vanished for a second and he looked hurt.

"Well, maybe I was wrong. Your not as observant as I thought." he said, amused, an evil glint in his eye. Tifa returned then, placing a cold glass of water in front of Roxas and a steaming cup of green tea in front of me.

"What about Sora's favorite color?"

"Well, Sora is different than most people. His favorite color depends on his mood. Sometimes, it's green. Sometimes it's blue. You never really know with Sora. He's…out there." he explained, struggling to find the right words. I giggled.

"I know. I practically grew up with him. Ok. So then… what type of people did you hang out with?' I asked. People always described me as someone who needed to know the little things-things that actually didn't matter at all in the real world-but they mattered to me. I give them a psychoanalysis and if they answer all the questions correctly to my favor, they're worthy enough to be my friend. So, as you can see, I don't have many friends.

"Well, normally I hang with the class clowns. When I'm exercising, I'm with the jocks. But for now, I hang with Sora, Hayner, and Axel." he explained. "you?"

"I don't have many friends." I admitted. "so basically, it's just Kairi. I've tried to get along with Xion, Olette, and Selphie, but they're more ambitious than I am." I paused. "And Xion kind of hates me for some reason."

"you wonder why…" he mumbled under his breath, intentionally so I couldn't hear. But my hearing is like a hawks. I pretended not to notice. "That's weird. She's pretty friendly; she's one of my many friends." he said afterwards in a false cheerful voice. What he said peaked my curiosity; many friends?

"Who are these friends you speak of?" I asked, mocking him with curious eyes. He smiled in response.

"Well, after high school, I joined a gang." he said, smirking at my wide eyes. "They needed one more member and I gladly accepted. My gang was this: Xemnas 'Mansex' Furakawa, was at the top of the ladder, the founder, number one. Zigbar 'Free shooter' Nagato, was second in command. Then came Xaldin 'Whirlwind lancer' Furude. Vexen 'Chilly Academic' Watanabe, number four, though he scared me. Leaxeus 'Silent Hero' Kobayashi was number five, but he didn't talk much. Zexion 'Cloaked Schemer' Saito was number six, shocking, I know. Siax 'Luna Divider' Yamada though as I call him creeper was number seven, Axel 'Flurry of Dancing Flames' Rinasaki was eight, and yes, Kairi's brother Axel was in a gang. Demyx 'Melodious Nocturne' Kato was number nine, though he was such a baby it was funny. Luxord 'Gambler of Fate' Hayashi was ten, and as his nickname states, he liked to gamble, a lot. Then came number eleven, Marluxia 'Graceful Assassin' Mochizuki, and I always thought he was gay cuz he had pink hair but whatever. Then came the only girl in our group, Larxene 'Savage Nymph' Maruyama at number twelve. She really was something, always finding some reason or another to beat me to a pulp. And finally, me, myself, and I. Roxas 'Key of Destiny' Akamura." he listed, using his fingers when trying to remember. I sat there, mouth agape.

"A-a g-gang?!" I managed to spit out. He just chuckled again, taking a sip of water and nodding his head. "A-and Zexion?! And Axel?!"

"Yes, Namine. A gang. We didn't do bad things. The whole point of us coming together was because we'd been outcasted. More the less, we found comfort in each other." he explained, and I calmed down slightly.

"You didn't do anything bad, did you?" I whispered, frantically looking around for signs of police.

"Your absurd. What are you thinking? I'm gonna kidnap you right here on the spot? Please Nams. It was more of just a large group of friends, rather than a gang." he explained, trying hard to contain his laughter. I glared at him.

"What? Are you blaming me for being a paranoid freak? Have you noticed, I have five to six deadbolts on each of my doors? Wait! What if your whole plan was to kidnap me right from the start? What if you were taunting me in high school, trying to see if I would put up a fight? What if-"

"Namine, your rambling on about stupid things."

"Oh. Sorry…my imagination is immense." I said, looking down and blushing in embarrassment. He laughed out loud now, unable to hold it in. I glared.

"I'm sorry. It's just your face! It's hilarious." he said between giggles. I huffed and glanced at the clock, scowling.

"Time for work." I sighed, draining the last of my tea and standing up. Roxas sighed as well.

"Aren't you going to pay for that?" he asked my retreating form, gesturing to my empty cup. I smirked.

"Nope. Tifa knows me pretty well. She always gives me free drinks. And you just got water, so it's fine." I said. He shrugged and followed after me.

* * *

**I'm sorry to all you Riku fans out there, but i suddenly decided to make Riku bad. really bad. **

**it started like this: i was cheerfully reading someine's lovely review during the first chapter when she asked me, "i'm kinda sad how riku's already cheating on namine... what was his reason?besides liking xion?" *cough* Naminecries4Riku *cough* and that really had me thinking.**

**is there really another reason why he's cheating?**

**so i thought, and i thought, and i thought. let me tell you; thinking hurts my brain. XD **

**so i'm gonna make Riku _bad._ hint the Tifa and Denzel hatred reference. There's a reason Why Tifa doesn't approve; and it has something to dso with Denzy. **

**ps. i love Denzel. he's the cutest little boy who tends to cus like a truck driver when fully angered. XD**

**review pwetty pwease? OwO  
**


	5. Dinner Rehearsal

**Chapter 5**

**Dinner Rehearsal**

We didn't do much at work. We just edited out some scenes in the video, cut some scenes for length reasons, and I got into another large dispute with Roxas over another trivial thing.

"Roxas?! Do you not brush your hair when I tell you to in between scenes?!" I shouted, appalled.

"I don't need to! My hair is spiky woman! It doesn't need to be brushed, because even if I brush it, it'll just go back the way it was!" he scoffed back. Kairi, Riku, Sora, and Axel had to sit in the background, sighing at our childish behavior.

"Then what is _this?!" _stabbing a finger at the screen. Roxas blinked and moved closer, examining it. Then he growled in anger.

"Your telling me this one little hair," he pointed to the culprit sticking out of his scalp, "Is what's pissing you off?!"

"Yes! It bothers me! There are two kinds of people in the world Roxas. Perfectionists such as myself, and slobs, like you!" I hissed, and the others seemed to cloud into an emo corner. Roxas started turning red.

"PERFECTIONISTS?! SLOBS?!" he repeated, his fists shaking heavily as he glared at me. I glared right back, and sparks flew from between our eyes. It was a silent argument from then on; ten minutes, and we were still having a glare off.

"Seriously, guys. Namine, it's not something to fuss over. And Roxas, just listen to her, unless you want your head bitten off every waking minute." Riku sighed rising.

I won the glare off.

Well, technically speaking. Roxas looked away first, but he turned his murderous glare on Riku, seeming to spark a flame about him. His temper rose as his whole body began to shake; and his eyes narrowed further and further until his face was contorted into the scariest scowl I had ever seen. It lasted five seconds; no one could move, frozen by fear. Once those five seconds passed, Roxas turned on his heel and literally stomped his way down the stairs, steam rising from his head. He was letting a long string of colorful profanities out from under his breath.

We stared after him for a long time.

"OK then…Namine? Let's head home." Riku finally said, breaking the awkward silence. We all coughed, no one saying a word as we left in groups of twos. Roxas was scary when he wanted to be…

Walking down the street, (Rika was still on vacation…I'm a generous person) We passed by Tifa's café, while Tifa herself was cleaning her outdoor tables. Denzel was watering the flowers around the little shop.

"Hi, Tifa. Denzel." I called warmly. They both looked up at me with the same kind of warmth. But as their eyes glazed over Riku, Tifa went rigid and Denzel froze where he stood, dropping the hose.

Riku went rigid as well, holding his breath.

"What are _you_ doing here?!" Denzel hissed, his hands balled up into fists by his side. I glanced at him, puzzled. Tifa looked worried for her adopted son.

"Just walking home from work." Riku answered coolly, no sign of a threat in his voice. He was acting, I could tell.

"Then hurry up! I still won't forgive you for what you did!" Denzel shouted, turning on his heel and rushing upstairs in tears. Tifa flinched from her son's hateful words and faced me, remorseful.

"I'm sorry for his behavior, but you understand, right?" she asked unwillingly to Riku. He nodded, a smile plastered on his lips.

"I'm sorry I troubled you, Miss Tifa. Please tell Denzel I'm sorry for before." Riku said, bowing. Tifa didn't buy it, but she ran into the café after Denzel.

"What was that all about?" I asked, incredulous. Riku sighed and we started walking again.

"In high school, you probably remember, I was the big, bad bully." he explained, pain shooting through his expression. I did remember…Riku repulsed me back then. "Well, I may have shaken Denzel up a bit. I feel terrible…" he sighed, slumping forward slightly. I put a hand on his shoulder.

"You've changed. just apologize and everything will be ok." I told him. Riku smiled at me.

"You always know what to say, don't you?"

"I might."

We smiled at each other as we entered the house. Roxas must have picked the lock again.

"You know what? I'm going to go apologize now. Besides, I can invite them to the rehearsal dinner tomorrow night." he said, smiling as I paled.

"The rehearsal dinner! Oh my god, I forgot! You go invite them. I have to go call all of the guests!" I panicked, scurrying around the corner. Then I remembered something.

"oh and Riku-"

"Well then, Denzel. It's time for a little reunion. Riku mumbled, smirking as he balled his hand into a fist. I quieted down as he left the house. Only one thought raced across my head.

_WTF?_

Sighing in confusion, I just sulked around the house, looking for the phonebook. I was gonna ask Riku where it was, but he was muttering, then he left, and now I don't have a clue as to where to start looking for the thing. I checked my bedrooms, guestrooms, bathrooms, kitchens, living rooms, game rooms, Dens, Offices, even closets and I couldn't find the book. My house was just too big. Grunting in frustration, I sulked to Roxas's room, unwillingly, just to see if he had a phone book himself.

"Roxas?" I called once I entered his room. He looked up, and we both froze.

He was sitting alone on his big guest bed, only in a pair of jeans, shirtless. He had a guitar on his lap, his legs crossed. I blushed, squeaking out a baby scream and slammed the door shut. I heard shuffling, something breaking, and then he called 'come in!'. I slowly opened the door again, my face red.

"S-sorry." I mumbled pathetically. The guitar was on the bed now, and Roxas was by the closet, now wearing a dark green t-shirt. He was blushing as bad as I was.

"N-not your fault." he mumbled back.

Awkward silence.

"Um, I was wondering, do you have a phone book?" I asked, still mumbling and looking away from him. From my peripheral vision, he seemed to be fidgeting with the shirt, pulling it down more. He was still blushing and looking away too.

"Yeah. It's under the bed." he muttered, walking over to it and pulling it out. I snatched it from his hands quickly and scurried off to the door, inching like a worm.

"And Roxas? I'm sorry for yelling at you in the office." I had to get it out. I felt pretty bad.

"No problem." he muttered. I slammed the door shut and sprinted to my side of the building.

To keep my mind busy, I called all of my friends, my family, and Riku's family. For some strange reason, they never answered, which derailed my thoughts and sent them in the Riku direction again. I wonder what was taking him so long?

"Hello?" Selphie chirped into her cell. I invited her, and she squealed like a piglet.

"ok, all of my friends are invited." I muttered to myself.

"What are you doing, exactly?" Roxas asked from behind me. I jumped, pointing and accusing finger at him.

"Don't do that!" I shouted, glaring darkly and growling. He just smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head.

"I'm inviting people to my wedding dress rehearsal tomorrow night." I told him, turning back to the phone book. He sighed. "Oh yeah. Your invited." I added, for his sake. He came up to me and grinned.

"Thank you for that! Now, if you don't mind me asking, do you have another guitar?" he asked. I looked at him, puzzled.

"Don't you have one?"

"Yeah."

"So why do you need another one?"

He answered me by lifting up his acoustic guitar. Three strings were broken and pulled into coils around the top.

"What did you do?" I asked, touching the strings in awe. It looked cool, ok?

"Well, after that little barge in, I kind of freaked and pulled the strings a little too hard." he answered, still grinning. I sighed.

"Music room. There's a hidden closet in there behind the piano. Go in there, and choose your guitar. We've got quite a collection." I told him. He squealed in joy and raced off.

Pansy!

"Hey, Namine. Tifa said she'll come, but Denzel doesn't want too." Riku said, coming through the door Roxas just ran out of. "And what has that kid in such high spirits?" he thrust a finger at the door.

"Roxas just realized we have a guitar collection. He's gonna go gape at them." I told him, chuckling. He chuckled too.

"Well, good thing Tifa's coming. And Don't worry about Denzel, he'll come around." I told him, smiling. He gave me a hug.

"By the way, I called your parents. They didn't answer." I told him. He snickered deviously for a split second in response. What was that?

"Oh Well. Mom and Dad don't like me very much anyway. And inviting my brothers isn't the best idea, either. They joined a gang." he explained. My jaw dropped. Honor students Xemnas and Ansem are in a _gang?!_

"Oh. Ok then." I let the subject drop for tonight. I will get the truth out of him, somehow. If I asked now, he'd only know I was suspicious.

Oh! I have a splendid idea. Tonight, after he falls asleep, I'll raid his office. Good, good.

"Want dinner?" I asked him, smiling in the best way I could. It was hard, since I was determined and anxious to find out his secret.

"Sure." he replied, flashing a brilliant smile himself.

Despite my having a chef, I was actually very good at cooking. I pulled out a pot, filled it with water, and put the heat on as I cut the vegetables.

"ROXAS! DO YOU WANT DINNER?!" I shouted, loud enough so he would hear.

"YEAH!" he shouted back. Ok then, three bowls. I set the curry sauce into the pot and let it melt, adding vegetables and meat as I went. While waiting, I started cooking the rice.

We all sat at the elegant dining room table, long enough to be one from the old days. Riku and I sat in the middle somewhere, Roxas sat across from us, clearly uncomfortable. He scarfed down his meal, mumbled a thank you, and sped out of the room. He was glaring at Riku the whole time. Riku and I ate twice as slowly, in silence. Once finished, we went to bed.

I had to try really hard to keep my eyes open. Riku didn't fall deep asleep until two in the morning, when his slow breathing finally transformed into soft snores. I sighed, finally able to crawl out and wander into his past. I crept down the hall, flinching every time a creak or an echo sounded from my steps. I slowly opened the door, cursing at it when it creaked open with an eerie noise. I flipped the light and began digging through papers.

I found dental records, school records, and even a crime record. I examined them all, realizing that in middle school till now, Riku was in a gang. A scary gang. The most notorious of them all, and he was the leader. I froze at the writing on the paper.

_Riku Kurosawa, age 13. Found guilty of shoplifting, sentence: twenty hours community service._

_Riku Kurosawa, age 15. Found guilty of identity theft, sentence: two hundred hours community service._

_Riku Kurosawa, age 18. Found guilty of identity theft, sentence: two hundred hours community service._

_Riku Kurosawa, age 18. Found guilty of assault, sentence; one month in jail._

_Riku Kurosawa, age 20. Found guilty of rape, sentence: one year in prison._

_Riku Kurosawa, age 20. Found guilty of Attempted murder. Sentence: four years in prison._

The last one froze time. I thought of only one name.

Denzel.

He had tried to hurt Denzel! My Denzel, my little brother of sorts, Tifa's straight A son, Denzel! How could he? Why? I read the others and flinched as well. Rape? _Rape?! _when in the Hell did this happen?!

I slammed the file folder closed and stood there.

"Not pleased with what you find, are you?"

I froze, paling at an extreme pace. I slowly inched around, fearful for my life, butterflies flitting around in my stomach in a crazed frenzy.

Then I calmed down when I realized it was Roxas.

"What are you doing here?!" I whisper hissed, putting the file folder down. His face was expressionless.

"I could ask the same to you."

"This doesn't concern you. Stay out of my business." I growled.

"Now now, Namine. This isn't exactly your business, is it? It's Riku's." he scowled at the name, but then composed himself back into that expressionless face.

"Butt out."

"I can't do that. It may be Riku's business, it may be yours. But it's mine too."

"How is that?" I asked, anger boiling.

"You've read the file. Assault, one said. Guess who he assaulted?" he asked, bored. My eyes widened.

"Roxas…?" I said timidly. He looked away.

"There's a lot of things you don't know, Namine."

And he walked off. Just like that. Without explaining anything.

Now I'm even more confused!

In denial, not believing anything a piece of paper said about him, I wandered to the closest living room, sinking into the couch. I let my eyes droop and I blacked out.

_The wedding bells were ringing a soft chime, a gorgeous sound over all. I was in that Rinasaki original, smoothening out the wrinkles and twirling around in front of many mirrors. Kairi was behind me, jumping around in glee._

"_It's time, Namine!" she squealed. I squealed with her, and my father came into the room, stoic as ever. I linked my arm with his and we walked out of the sea side shack and onto the bridge. The wedding march started playing and I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I nearly sprinted down the bridge, slamming into Riku with joy. He smiled timidly back._

_The priest started saying stuff, but I wasn't listening. I was staring into those emerald eyes, lost forever._

"_Namine! Be careful!" Denzel shouted, running towards me._

_And suddenly, I wasn't at the wedding anymore. My dress was covered in filth, it was raining, and I was in a dark alley._

"_Namine…take off that dress." Riku suddenly ordered, pinning me to a wall. I shrieked in terror, and Denzel ran up to me._

"_Namine! No! you have to get away!" he cried, punching at Riku's arms. Riku shot back, slamming Denzel's head into the wall. The boy went limp, but Riku didn't stop. He continued to beat him up, and I sat in mute horror, watching the scene unfold. And then, Riku was back, pinning me to the wall. Denzel lay a few feet away, a bloody mass on the ground, dead._

"_Denzel!" I cried out, tears streaming down my face. Riku slapped me._

"_He's dead, wench. Were all alone now. Take off your dress!" he ordered, this time with venom. I screamed and pushed him back, running. As I neared the entrance to the alleyway, suddenly, everyone was there. My father, my mother, Kairi, Sora, Tifa, Cloud, Olette, Hayner, Selphie, Tidus, Yuna, Garnet, and Zidane stood there, blocking the entrance. Roxas was in the front, arms held open, a soft expression on his face. I ran to him, crying into his chest as the others blocked my view of Riku's charging form. Roxas and Kairi huddled around me. _

"_I'm sorry I didn't tell you." Kairi muttered. And Roxas pulled me behind his back, taking a protective stance. Riku broke through my barrier of loved ones, approaching me slowly. He slapped Kairi aside, and she fell to the ground, unconscious. I let out one final scream as his fist connected to Roxas's jaw._

"OH MY DEAR MERCIFUL HEAVENS!" I shouted, bolting upright on the couch. I started breathing heavily and I clutched my chest.

No more sneaky file peeking.

I stretched, laughing at myself. I'm letting this get to me; he's changed! I know he has. He's showed me with our two years of dating. As I stretched, I felt the ache in my back. The couch is so much stiffer than my feather bed…oh well.

"Namine? What are you doing sleeping out here?" Riku called from the hallway. I went rigid. What do I tell him?!

"Um…I went out for a midnight snack. I guess I fell asleep on the couch afterwards." I quickly lied, rubbing the back of my head. He sighed.

"OK. Well, it's already noon. You might want to hurry and get ready."

"It's noon?! I have to get to the office or Kairi will kill me!" I shouted, suddenly panicky. I bolted off the couch and sped off.

-_________________________________~___________________________________-

Glasses were clinking together, small talk was in the air, and everyone was wearing an elegant dress or tuxedo. I myself was in an elegant white dress, another Rinasaki original spaghetti strap number, which ended right at my thighs. It had a rigid hem, a zigzagged pattern that had star shapes on each tip. There wasn't a single pattern on the dress, and it seemed to glow under the lights. My hair was up in a loose ponytail, my bangs falling forward and curving away from my face. The ponytail itself was a mixture of curly and wavy, flowing down to about my neckline.

Kairi had put me in a white piece in an attempt to make me stand out, because everyone else in the room wore pinks, lavender, or baby blue colored dresses. Riku was in a formal tuxedo, and as I noticed, everyone was staring at him anxiously with large, wide eyes. Kairi came running up to me in a flash of pink.

"Oh, Namine! Isn't it darling?" she squealed, twirling me around. Kairi was wearing her own Rinasaki original, (obviously) a pink, black, and white number. It was pink for the most of it, with zippers and strings everywhere, a black belt running around her waist, and a small bag connected to a strap coming off of the belt. underneath the pink zip up, she had a white talk top, with floral laces at the top, with a black hood connected to the straps.

"Yeah Kai, you really outdid yourself."

And she did. We were on the top floor of the building, at night, I might add, with the stars and a full moon shining brightly through the glass panels of the ceiling. The red carpet seemed to be stretched out further, and now tables were set up everywhere, with wine red table cloths and an assortment of eating supplies. Caterers were wandering around the room, stopping at guest after guest, giving out snacks and wine. The tables were numbered; each seat was reserved for someone, and If you don't have a reservation, you were kicked out, unless I allowed you to stay. My table consisted of Me, Riku, Kairi, Sora, My mother and father, Tifa, and Xion. I needed to start the feast; the guests were starting to complain. I lifted up my glass, hitting it lightly with a spoon. I've always wanted to do that.

"Let the feast begin!" I announced cheerfully, and everyone sighed in relief, wandering to their assigned seats. As I glanced around my table, I took in each personality.

Kairi and Sora were barking like puppies, with cute pouty faces waiting for the food. (like this =3 lol) mother was examining the building, glancing around in wonder at the glass ceiling. My father was staring blankly at the plate before him, much like Riku, who was doing the same. Xion was murderously glaring at me(again) for no apparent reason, and Tifa seemed anxious. The food came out, and we all dug in, small talk still high in the air.

"So Riku. Where do you want to take my baby for her honeymoon?" my mother asked once she finished off her plate. We were all done already; my mom was a slow eater.

"Well, I want to keep that a secret. But Mrs. Suzumiya, if you want, I could have a moment alone with you, and I could tell you." he replied cheerfully. I pouted.

"Your no fun."

"Namine…can I have a word with you?" Kairi asked suddenly, in her gloomy serious state. I inwardly screamed out in fear. We walked away from the table, wandering into Kairi's secret wardrobe closet filled with all of her favorite Rinasaki originals.

"What's wrong, Kairi?" I asked, truly worried. She faced me, all traces of her normally bubbly enthusiasm gone. I gulped.

"I love him like family, and he was a nice kid when we grew up together on the island. But when he turned thirteen, he changed. he began smoking, drinking, watching porn online, and he drifted away from Sora and I. by eighteen, I heard he raped a girl. Then he assaulted Sora, and he tried to kill Denzel…then he met you." she started. My eyes grew wide. Why is this the first time I've heard of these things?! Kairi didn't stop talking.

"you seemed to change him, Namine. He stopped smoking, he quit the porn, he started taking anger management. It was just after high school. You met him in college, right?" she never gave me the chance to answer. "and he became born anew, but he didn't drop the gang, he didn't drop the beer…" she drifted off, looking far away.

"And then Xion stepped in."

I froze at those words. They had so much venom in them, it was hard to believe they left Kairi's mouth. Before I could say anything, she turned to me, her bubbles back on top.

"But that's irrelevant! I just wanted you to know that he cares for you." she squealed in her delighted happy voice. I was left standing there, left in the most confuzzled state imaginable. Kairi skipped out, dragging me along.

"Uh oh!~ Namine, it seems like it's time to go on home! You have a big day tomorrow!" Kairi chirped, twirling around again. I was still in my shock and I wasn't really listening.

"Hey, Namine." until now.

"Hi, Roxas. Glad you could come." I greeted warmly. He only pouted at me.

"That's no fair. You claim that I'm your 'bestie friendie'," he put his fingers up in air quotes, "but yet I had to go sit with that jabber mouth Selphie and Xion get's to sit at your table?" he asked, pretending to look hurt. I rolled my eyes.

"Hey! I don't like Xion as much as the next guy. She's always glaring at me in ways that makes me think she wants to kill me…anyway, Riku had as much say as I did on who could sit with me, and Xion is Riku's bestie!" I told him, wagging a finger in his face. His expression faltered into a real pained expression as soon as the words left my mouth. I got more confuzzled. Why are people confusing me with trivial things like this?!

"Fine then. But you'll pay for it tomorrow! I call catching that flower thingy you have to throw!" he said, quickly composing his expression into a fake pout. Unfortunately, I bought his distraction.

"Hey! You can't call that! The person who catches it catches it!" I told him, smirking. He pouted more. ( A/N-I can imagine Roxas giving the cutest pout in the world….it's adorable! *fan girl moment*)

"Well then…I'll be in the third row, right in front of you. Turn around and throw it straight back!" he told me, playfully sticking his tongue out. This time, I pouted.

"You can't tell me to do it! It's my choice of how I throw it!" I mimicked his pouty face. We stood there, now having a pout off, and then we broke out in laughter.

**(meanwhile, on the far side of the room)**

"You didn't tell her, did you?" Riku asked Kairi timidly. His tone was fearful.

"No. but she really should know." Kairi answered him. He sighed.

"I know…but I can't bring myself to do it. I love both of them so much… but look at the way she plays with him." he said, gesturing towards Roxas with distaste, "If things go bad, I want you to et those two together." he told the red head. She froze in shock.

"Riku…"

"Come on, Kairi. You've known me since I was a baby. I always have a backup plan." he told her, grinning. It took a while, but she grinned too.

"So if this ends badly…you'll go with _her?" _Kairi asked. Riku merely nodded.

"I think…there's someone else that loves Namine more than I do."

* * *

**MUA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!**

**Riku's past6 is revealed. DUN DUN DUN!!!!! **

**and see? i made sure he had a soft side. it's right there, in the ending. -----^**

**soooooooooo. nex chapter is the big day. where i get to publicly humiliate RIku. *rubs hands together as lightning flashes in the blackground***

**i'm gonna have fun.... hehehehe....**


	6. The Beginning of The End

**Shiori's back baby. and hse just typed up her most favorite chapter. **

**_bud up bup bup ba! i'm lovin it. =)_**

**Chapter 7**

**The Beginning fo the End: Wedding Fiasco**

"_Hey, Nams? Do you want my crackers today?"_

_I turned to the source of the voice, unnecessarily happy and grinning like an idiot as I faced my bestie friendie._

_He was happy, like always, his hand extended out to me filled with the sweet cookies that I loved. His hair was disguised by a winter hat but a few of his short blonde spikes poked out in his face. He was wearing his big winter coat; black, with white zigzagged patterns on his shoulders. It was snowing, and the snow clung to his hat and face._

"_Of course! I love graham cookies!" I chirped, snatching them from his hands and licking at the sugar. He giggled besides me. We were outside, recess time, sitting alone on the benches outside the classroom, trying to stay warm in this snowy, cold weather. The other kids were screaming and laughing, having fun throwing the white fluff at each other._

"_Hey Ro-"_

"WAKE UP SLEEPY HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!"

"OH MY GOD!" I screamed, shooting out of my bed and flying across the room. When my eyes focused from the dazed dream I just had and I landed on my head in reality, I glared at my red headed friend, who was grinning like a freak.

"Kairi! Do you want me to die? I don't have to go to the office today! It's a Saturday!" I wined, still scowling at her growing smirk.

"Nami-Chan, do you remember what today is?" she asked, coming up to me.

I thought.

And I thought.

And I thought.

Holy mother of Christ.

"TODAY IS THE WEDDING!!!!" I screamed, suddenly overcome by panic. I leaped to my feet and ran to the closet, throwing things out at a rapid pace. I snatched the white bag hiding in the very back, sprinting back over to Kairi.

"HAIR AND MAKEUP NOW!!!" I ordered, flying to my vanity. Kairi was a step ahead of me, having already laid out all of the necessary tools. She was at my side immediately, already applying mascara.

She was done turning me into a princess my an hour. She was a fast little cookie, she was. My hair was bunched up on top of my head, with two braids leading from the front of my face up into the back. The rest of my hair was in a perfect bun, resting lightly on the back of my scalp, and my bangs were pinned back by bobby pins.

"Ok Kairi! Dress!" I huffed, trying to snatch it off of the bed. Kairi grabbed it before I did, wagging a finger in my face.

"Namine! Relax! I've got everything under control. Your getting in the dress over there. For now, to the limo!" she told me, marchin out of the room with a hand extended in the air. I followed her, anxious.

"Namine Suzumiya future to be Kurosawa! Would you calm down?!" Kairi said, but this time with urgency. I tried to slow my breathing. I also noted the fact that she choked out the word Kurosawa. The limo ride was fun and easy, and I never relaxed my panicked twitching. My legs wouldn't keep still, and I kept tapping the ground with such volume that Kairi smacked my knee numerous times. I wouldn't be surprised if a bruise showed up tomorrow. Afterwards, when my legs sighed a breath of relief, we boarded the first boat out to the island. On board, passengers, who were guests, were eying me with anxious, fearful eyes. It was probably because I was pacing around at a very high speed, a nervous wreck.

"That's Namine." they started whispering.

"_That's _Namine? The innocent little girl from High School? She's marrying _Riku?" _

"Yeah. Don't tell her about the things he did and is doing."

"Why not?"

"Because. If the girl finds out, it'll break her heart. She's just too innocent, you know? Besides, she seems like the type who would commit suicide if she found out about the cheating."

Hold up. Cheating? I knew Riku cheated when we played games. He always hid aces under his sleeve. Why would I commit suicide over that?

The old couple whispering to each other stopped when I sent a glare their way. Still uncomfortable and nervous, I continued to pace. Kairi started getting irritated.

"Namine. Would you calm the hell down? Like I've told you a million times, I have it under control." she hissed, grabbing my hand and forcing me to sit down. I still couldn't stop the anxious beating of my heart.

"And if anything happens, I'm here for you. Ok? You just come to me." she whispered, her mood changing. I quickly looked at her, shocked. What was that supposed to mean? she only smiled, then pointed out to the sea. The islands were drawling closer. I started hyperventilating.

"Namine, stop that. I'm going to give you a black eye." Kairi threatened, her hands coiling into fists. I froze, my breathing getting caught in my throat.

"That's better. Lets go!" she shouted, throwing me across the boat and then dragging me out in her high speed run. She dashed across the sandy surface, through the many benches placed out for the guests, and pushed my into the sea side shack, slamming the door closed behind her.

"UNDRESS!" she commanded, taking her Rinasaki wedding special out of the white bag. I did so quickly, and Kairi threw my wedding dress over my head, then started smoothening out all of the wrinkles.

"REDO ON HAIR AND MAKEUP!" she shouted next, snapping her fingers. Kairi's private hair stylists and makeup artists came rushing out of the darkness, attacking me with their beautifying weapons.

And then, all too soon, my father was standing there, leaning against the doorway waiting for me. He had vehemently refused to wear a tuxedo, and thus he was leaning against the doorway, still clad in his all black glory. I sighed at him.

"Make this quick." he mumbled, already bored. That's my father for you….

"Alright Nami. You just have to walk. Just follow after me, and everything will be alright." she cooed, and I felt the butterflies in my stomach unleash. Kairi smiled one last time, then turned around. She was wearing a dashing pink dress, with one shoulder strap and while sparkles. It flowed down to her ankles, and she was carrying a small bouquet of pink roses. My bouquet was much larger, carrying purple, red, pink, and white roses. She walked slowly down the isle, a smile locked on her lips. I followed suit, but as I walked, I couldn't help but think about all of the things people had told me about Riku. Was it alright to be marrying him? Was it safe? Let me think…

He Tried to kill Denzel… he raped a girl when he was younger….he started smoking and drinking when he was thirteen… he assaulted Roxas….

That's a lot….

But then what about Kairi and Sora? They were friends with him since preschool. They're still faithfully by his side. So it should be ok, right? And what about that old couple on the boat? They were talking about him cheating, but I didn't find a problem with that…

And then, I figured that it was all lies. Everything. Lies, lies, lies. They were just jealous.

With my new found courage, I stomped along the isle, a huge smile plastered on my face. Riku smiled timidly in return, and I didn't fail to notice Xion glaring daggers at my back.

"You look gorgeous." Riku commented. I blushed. The minister babbled along, talking nonsense about holy matrimony and blah, blah, blah.

"Do you, Riku Kurosawa, take this Miss, Namine Suzumiya, as you lawfully wedded wife?" aw, finally mister minister. The words I've been waiting for.

"I do." he said confidently.

"And do you, miss Namine Suzumiya, take this man, Riku Kurosawa as your lawfully wedded husband?" I took a deep breath.

"I do." I sighed, the words flowing out with my exhale.

"Does anyone object to these two people-"

"I do." all sound stopped, and I became furious. Who dares to disrupt my wedding-

My glower was cut short when I came face to café with Xion, who was sending an equally disturbing glare my way. She was standing now, and all eyes were on her. Riku bit his lip next to me. Xion turned to the crowd, glaring at each and every guest. I took notice of some of their expressions. Kairi, standing just off to my right, was sharing alarmed and worried looks with Sora, and Roxas was standing as well, inching closer to the alter.

"I had sex with Riku Kurosawa!" Xion shouted, pissed off.(Bring it on much? XD) She glared at me again. Her words pierced me like a knife, and everything came crashing down into reality, and I was no longer in the world of rainbows and ponies, where everything was perfect.

Riku did rape a girl in high school. He did try to kill Denzel. He did assault Roxas, my new best friend.

And I understand what that old couple meant about cheating. And they were right.

It did break my heart. And I am considering that small jump into the ocean…

"What…how…how could you?" I cried before sobs. Kairi ran up to me, and suddenly, I understood what she had said before too. She knew all along. Like everyone here. But she, like everyone else was trying to protect me from this _pain_. This _excruciating pain._

Kairi wrapped her arms around me, and Roxas was there in a second. Xion ran up next to Riku, glaring.

"I couldn't take it, you marrying _her_." she shot the death look of disgust in my direction, "Riku, I'm sorry. But if you love me, you never would have gone through wit this." she said through gritted teeth, and slapped him once, a clear, loud sound, across the face. He caught her hand inn mid air as it dropped.

"Xion, just shut up. I do love you, but Namine was in my life first. I proposed to you before I even met you." that, my friends, set off the ticking time bomb of bipolar emo-ness off inside of me.

"_Excuse me? _what am I, a prize to you? After everything we've been through. And everything you hid from me. You tried to kill off my little Denzel?! My only little brother of sorts?! And you assaulted Roxas?! My new best friend?!" I shouted, anger pooling out of my mouth. Everyone seemed baffled by my response. I threw the rose bouquet at Roxas-he wanted it anyway- and stormed up to him, punching him with all the force I had in my body. He stumbled backwards, falling down, now nursing a bloody nose. My hand throbbed, but I ignored it.

"N-Namine, I'm sorry-"

"Save it for someone who cares." I spat, turning and running headlong down the isle, tears and sadness taking the place of the sudden anger. Roxas, Sora, and Kairi followed after me, boarding the boat. I ran to the very bottom, curled up in a ball, and cried. The others were calling my name onboard, but I ignored them, lost in my own world of depression. Then, a strong arm wrapped around my shoulder and I looked up to be face to face with my only male best friend.

"Namine, shhhhh. Calm down, everything's ok…" he mumbled, and I slammed into him, squeezing him in a bear hug as I cried on his shoulder. Kairi and Sora appeared on the stairs, looking relieved, and they both ran up to me as well. I released Roxas and went to Kairi, who was better at comforting.

"Namine, were so sorry we didn't tell you. Honestly-"

"Kairi, it's ok. I don't care anymore." I mumbled into her shoulder. Roxas and Sora just hovered there, patting my shoulder awkwardly.

"Roxas? Sing me a song." I mumbled. This took him by surprise.

"Which one?" he asked, wary.

"The one you were singing that one night. _To Be With You_."

He seemed skeptical at first. Kairi nodded her head, telling him to sing it, but he still looked unsure. Sora ran up stairs, and came speeding back with a guitar in his hands. He handed it to Roxas, who looked at me with the same skeptical look.

"Please." I cried. This got him. His face instantly contorted into determination and he began to play. **(seriously, read the lyrics. They MATTER. It really expressed how Roxas feels.)**

_"I've been alone, so many nights now._

_And I've been waiting for the stars to fall._

_I keep holding out, for what I don't know._

_To be with you,_

_Just to be with you._

_So here I am, staring at the moon tonight._

_wondering how you look in this light._

_Maybe your somewhere, thinking about me too._

_To be with you,_

_There's nothing I wouldn't do."_

And then, for some strange reason, as if I knew the lyrics that came next, I started singing with him, the choked sobs interfering with my voice. he looked shocked when I started singing, but instantly grinned.

"_And I can't imagine. _

_Two worlds spinning apart_

_Come together eventually_

_And when we finally meet_

_I'll know what's right._

_I'll be at the end of this restless road_

_But this journey, it was worth the fight,_

_To be with you_

_Just to be_

_Holding you for the very first time_

_Never letting go_

_What I wouldn't give, to feel that way…"_

And Kairi let go of me, Sora took the guitar from his hands, and I leaned into him, allowing him to hug me. Just like his lyrics said.

_Oh to be with you_

_Oh_

_And I can't imagine _

_Two worlds spinning apart_

_Come together eventually_

_And when your standing here in front of me_

_That's when I know that god does exist_

_Cause he answered every single prayer_

_To be with you_

_just to be with you…"_

And that's when I fell asleep. Literally worn out from today's events and the lack of sleep from before, I was exhausted. I just collapsed in Roxas's arms, crumbling into a broken heap. As my eyes began to blur, when I looked up to Roxas, I couldn't help but see the young boy from my dream, grinning and holding out graham crackers for me to take. I smiled, a last, final tea strolling down my cheek as I blacked out.

**(NORMAL POV)**

Roxas stared at the small, broken blonde, seeing her nothing more than an angel. The lyrics of his song were meant for her, and her alone. He would never treat her like that vile silver haired man had. He would love her like no one else would.

"Roxas, you know what Riku said last night, as you guys were talking?" Kairi asked, gesturing to Namine when she described 'you guys'. Roxas shrugged.

"He said, and I quote, 'I'll bet there's someone else out there that loves her more than I do.'" she said, putting air quotes in with the explanation. Roxas smiled.

"Roxas, I think she's remembering your second grade friendship. It looked like she recognized you before she went to sleep." the over observative Sora said, smiling and putting a hand on Roxas's shoulder. Roxas glowed, his grin spreading wider.

"It would be helpful if she remembered. But for now, let's let her sleep."

* * *

**I would just like to say...**

**NAMINECRIES4RIKU?!?!?!?!?!**

**you ask the best questions. i swear, you really do. you got me thinking. what did happen to make Riku like that? what made him snap his chain?**

**well, the answers will be in chapter 7! **

**i love this story...**

**and thanx to MY BESTIE FRIENDIE HERSELF, UWISHUKNEWHER AKA MAC!!!!! loves you like a sista, Kai-chan. =) (and yes, i am ignoring your texts at the moment, i'm busy.)**

**special thanx to DemyxplaysMySitar, Silentmusic16, Divadcreater, Ayumu-chan(Sokka's fan-lawer), brightficus, Lulu de rushe, and AsakuraX fore reviewing! i love you all! *air kisses***

**;)**


	7. Fun Stuff

**OMG. THIS IS BY FAR, MY MOST FAVORITE CHAPTER. I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF. **

**ENJOY; I KNOW I DID. =)**

**disclaimer: OMG! it's about freaking time i added one of these...hahaha...**

**I Don't own the song _Gay Bar. (_hahaha, you'll see.)**

**i don't own Kingdom Hearts. i don't even own a copy of 358/2 days...I'm Leaving. *crawls into emo corner of shame***

**Chapter 7**

**Fun Stuff**

As soon as I got home, I threw all of Riku's things out into the sprinkler system.

I hope it rains.

Then lightning could light his personal belongings on fire.

That would be wonderful for my sour mood.

I was unbelievably irritable. Cheating? _Cheating?! _This is absurd. I will _murder_ that boy if he takes another step into my property.

Let alone one hundred feet outside my personal bubble.

I growled under my breath, a dark aura just radiating from my very being. Roxas, Kairi, and Sora came home with me, to comfort me, but now they just stayed a safe distance away just in case I thrashed out on them. Rika was finally back, and I had murderously ordered her to set up lots of expensive pottery in the back yard and give me a rifle. ( I also ordered her to change her name to Joey, because of the close resemblance of the names.)

Yes, Roxas, Sora, and Kairi were hiding from me.

I stood in the backyard, rifle in hand, glaring at all of the fine works of art before me, before finally cracking a devilishly evil smile.

I've crossed over to the dark side.

And it was true; right now, I was wearing black skinny jeans, a black t-shirt with a white broken heart printed on it, and a black sweatshirt over it. I massacred my hair, pulling all of the nicely done braids out, leaving it a wavy mess on top of my head. My make up was smeared, all over my face, and I think I looked like a possessed clown.

Fun stuff man.

I shot rapidly, hitting every target and gleefully squealing as the shattering sound calmed me down. Eventually, I ran out of shots, and my backyard was now a junkyard. I sighed, throwing the rifle to the ground and breathing heavily.

That's better.

My sadness came crashing back down on me like a tidal wave, and I sobbed as I ran back into the house and sprinted into my room. I slammed the door shut and curled up in a ball on my bed, crying.

"N-Namine?" Sora called. I moaned to let him know he was allowed to come in. he opened the door slowly, peeked in, and crept forward, Kairi and Roxas at his heels. Sora and Roxas stayed a safe distance away, while Kairi ran forward, wrapping me in a hug.

"Oh Nami, It's ok!" she gushed, comforting me. I glared at her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I demanded, though my voice cracked. All of them paled, looking anywhere but at me.

"Nami…we wanted to tell you. But…remember during the dinner rehearsal? I told you all that stuff? You didn't believe me. So why would you believe me when I told you he was cheating? Besides, you'd probably brush it off as cheating during card games." Kairi explained. It was amazing how right she was. It was smack dab on the bull's-eye.

"Oh. Ok then. It's alright, Kai, Roxie, Sora. I forgive you guys. Thanks for being here." I choked out between sobs. Sora and Roxas relaxed, approaching the bed.

"Namine…did you just call me Roxie?" Roxas asked, slightly stunned. I nodded my head, swiping at the tears, confused.

"Why?" I asked him, "Is it ok?"

"N-no, no, it's perfectly fine." he stuttered, blushing and looking away. Something dawned on me.

"I had a friend in second grade named Roxie." I recalled, sniffing. Roxas and Sora froze, and Kairi's smile spread headlong across her face.

"Go on!" she urged. Sora smiled as well, getting caught up in his wife's enthusiasm. "Is there anything else?" he asked, and they both leaned forward towards me. I Got creeped out.

"Um….um…." I thought. Roxas looked at me hopefully. I thought harder.

"He used to give me graham crackers everyday at recess." I said. Kairi and Sora leaned in closer.

"And?!" they pressed, excited.

"He was my best friend…"

"Yes…"

"And that's all I got."

Kairi and Sora groaned, letting out a huff of despair and falling back onto the bed. Roxas released his held breath, all traces of hope vanishing, staring at the ground sadly. I glanced at all of them, confused.

"Why are you all mopey all of a sudden? Isn't it backwards? I just had the worst wedding day in the history of wedding days." I told them, and a sharp pang smacked me in my chest. Pain…it hurts…

"Kairi? Can we go downstairs to the bar?" I asked suddenly. Kairi looked taken back, but nodded, helping me up.

"Don't go overboard, ok?" she warned, helping me take each step carefully down the stairs. I nodded.

"I won't." I promised.

**-__________________________________~_____________________________-**

**(Roxas's POV)**

This is insane.

"GIRL!" Kairi and Namine sang to each other, beer bottles in hand like microphones, "I WANNA TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR! I WANNA TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR! I WANNA TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR, GAY BAR, GAY BAR!!!!!" they sang happily, dancing inappropriately on top of a table. Sora was with them, holding an electric guitar in his hands and strumming along with their makeshift karaoke. I stood in the doorway, frozen in shock and fear.

This is what my friends are like when their drunk? They're _savages_! This is crazy!

We came down stairs fifteen minutes ago. Yes, you heard right, _fifteen minutes _ago. As soon as we hit Namine's bar, Nams and Kai lunged for the beer, guzzling it down like some eternal life elixir. Sora joined in moments later; he couldn't resist. I left to go to the bathroom for a whopping three minutes, and I come back and their singing _this._

"LETS START A WAR! START A NUCLEAR WAR! AT THE GAY BAR! GAY BAR! GAY BAR! WOW!" they chanted, together. Where the hell did Namine and Kairi hear this song?!

"Guys…you should stop singing… your all really, _really_ drunk." I told them. They ignored me, jumping off of the table.

"AT THE GAY BAR! NOW TELL ME DO YA?! BUT DO YA HAVE ANY MONEY?! I WANNA SPEND ALL YOUR MONEY AT THE GAY BAR! GAY BAR! GAY BAR!" they continued singing. It was getting pretty loud. I couldn't take it anymore; this is out of control! I dashed for Sora's amp, pulling the cord out as fast as I could.

"HEY!" the three of them protested, throwing dirty glares my way. Sora fell over, the guitar breaking underneath him. Namine and Kairi swayed in their spots, arms wrapped around each other's shoulders for support.

"Enough! You guys, just go to bed. Now. In separate rooms." I ordered. They giggled maniacally, and turned on their heels, walking in an extreme angle up the stairs, stumbling a couple times. Sora had passed out; I knew his drill. I picked him up and followed the girls up stairs.

"Hey Roxiiiiieeeee!!!!" Namine slurred, and Kairi's eyes rolled around in her head. I sighed.

"Yes, Namine?"

"You're my friend from second grade, aren't you?" she asked, tripping over her feet and stumbling forward. I froze.

"Namine…you remember?" I asked, baffled. Even though she was in a drunken stupor.

"Of course she remembers, silly! You guys were the bestest of bestie friendies eve…." Kairi started, but instantly collapsed into a broken heap on the ground, deep heavy breaths coming from her mouth. I sighed, throwing Sora into a nearby guest room and closing the door. Namine crouched down and began poking Kairi.

"Do think she died?!" she asked me, excited. I rolled my eyes. I'm never letting these guys get drunk again.

"No, she just fell asleep." I assured her, and she giggled, falling over.

"Uh-oh!~ I fell!" she squealed, giggling. This is seriously creeping me out…

"Namine, you can stand, right?" I asked her, throwing the unconscious Kairi over my shoulder. She giggled again, her voice rising a few octaves to sound like a maniacal laugh.

"Of course!" she squealed in her high pitched voice, jumping to her feet and slamming into a wall.

"Ouchie!~ Roxiiiiieeeee….the wall got in my way!" she whined, rubbing her forehead with a smile still in place. I rolled my eyes.

"You know, just because you found out Riku was cheating on you today, on your wedding day, doesn't mean you could drink yourself away." I told her. Her eyes grew dark and she shot the scariest glower at me. I cringed.

"Don't mention that douche bag's name in my house." she hissed, now growling like a rabid dog. I stepped back, stunned. That's the worst look I've ever seen…

But her mood instantly shifted as she skipped up to me.

"Ok?~ hey Roxie, do you remember how we met in second grade? That big fat meaner Zell was bullying me cuz I was so tiny." she pouted, walking in her drunken way down the hall. I followed, amazed she was recalling _those _days while drunk when she couldn't even think of them while sober. Her brain is whacked up.

"I was crying, then you came up! And you punched him, and told him to leave me alone. I was so happpppyyyyy!!!!" she drawled the word out, tripping over her feet every so often. She was still swaying from side to side. I paused at the next guest room, throwing Kairi in.

Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention. Once Namine's parents started hearing 'gay bar' coming from the other room, they instantly left, driving to a nearby hotel. It was too awkward, and they knew the situation.

"Yeah. You were so shy. You didn't talk to anyone, and you always hung out under the slide, drawing things in the sand." I said, blushing. When I was little, I remember always worrying about her, wondering if she wanted friends. She seemed happy enough, stabbing her stick into the dirt and doodling mindlessly.

*flashback*

_I laughed as milk came flying out of Hayner's nose._

"_Ha ha! That's what you get!" I shouted at his face. He pouted at me, then stormed off, probably to go tell Olette and Pence what I had done. I watched after him, feeling guilt wash through me. What if he told Mrs. Awakara? Then I was in some deep trouble. I bit on my fingernails nervously, slowly following him._

"_Please, just leave me alone!" a soft voice begged, sniffing. I turned to the sound, and saw Namine Suzumiya crying while Zell Dincht, a third grader, was smirking in a your-such-a-loser kind of way. I rushed to the scene, tackling Zell._

"_Hey! What the heck, Akamura?!" he screeched, baffled. I huffed._

"_She asked you to leave her alone!" I scolded him, standing protectively in front of Namine. Zell flinched, clearly seeing a conflict, and ran away, like a puppy with his tail between his legs. I smirked triumphantly._

"_Are you ok?" I asked Namine, grinning. She pulled back, unsure of what to say. I didn't blame her. Namine didn't talk to people. I had heard her talking to herself before, but never to people. The only person she would talk to was Mrs. Awakara. She leaned against the underside of the yellow slide, nervously looking at her feet._

"_Y-yeah…" she mumbled, blushing. I shot a hand out to her._

"_Great! My name's Roxas. Your Namine, right?" I asked her. She flinched away from my hand, but took it gingerly after a while. I shook it eagerly._

"_Yes. It's nice to meet you, Roxas." she said politely, a little quiet for a normal person. But after a while, she smiled timidly._

"_Hey, you wanna be friends?" I asked her, excitement washing through my veins. She looked confused by the word._

"_You want to be my friend?" she asked, skeptical, but he voice was getting louder. I grinned wider._

"_Of course, silly!"_

_*flashback over*_

"But you were so funny Roxie!!!!!!!!!! You looked so cute!" Drunken, twenty-five year old Namine squealed, breaking me away from the memory. I blushed at the word cute.

"You grew a lot, Roxiiiiieeeee! You look all older. do I look older?!" she asked. I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, Namine. You do look older."

"Am I pretty when I'm older?!" she asked, glancing at me hopefully. I blushed.

"Yes, you are. Like a white rose." I told her.

"Yay!~ you look cooler when your older, Roxie! Like a prince!" she slurred, falling over. I took her arm and pulled it around my neck to help support her.

"Namine, you really should get to bed. Your beyond drunk; I'd bet you don't know half of what your saying."

"I know what I'm saying Roxie! You do look like a prince! Hey, maybe you could play as my price charming! Is that ok?!"

I blushed tomato red. "Y-yeah, It's fine.

"Yay! I love you, Roxie." she slurred again, giving me a swift peck on the cheek. Her breath reeked of alcohol. I blushed harder. When I looked at her, she was grinning like an idiot, happier than I've ever seen her. Oh my god, this is so _awkward. _I really hope she doesn't remember any of this when she wakes up…

I opened the door to her bedroom with my foot, pulling her onto the bed.

"Now get some rest, ok?" I told her, pulling the covers over her body. Her eyes were already closing.

"Roxiiiiieeeee? Don't leave…please?" she begged, a hint of desperation in her voice, "I don't want that awful pain to come back."

This caught me off guard. The awful pain? So she was trying to hide the pain with alcohol. Naturally.

"Alright, I'll be right here. Don't worry, I won't leave." I lied, taking her small hand into my own and crouching down at her side. She smiled before dozing off. I waited until her breath became light snores, then released her hand, tip toeing out of the door.

"No…please. Roxie, don't leave me… I'm afraid to be alone." she cried in her sleep, as though she knew I was leaving. I sighed, walking back into the room. I grabbed a chair from the corner, dragging it to her side. I curled my hands around hers again, and she squeezed them tightly, never relaxing. Sighing again, I laid my head down in the bed and closed my eyes, falling asleep.

* * *

(Namine's POV)

My hand was screaming in protest. I woke up to the pain, but I couldn't relax my muscles there. I just felt like I needed to hold onto whatever was in my grasp…

As soon as my eyes opened, I let out a low moan. The lights! They were so bright! My head was spinning. What on earth happened to me? I don't remember a thing…the last thing I remember is going down to the bar to get a drink…

Oh.

I pressed my free hand to my eyes, slowly opening them to get used to the lights. My pulse pounded behind my ears, and I groaned again. My head spun around crazily, like I was trapped on a never ending loop de loop on a roller coaster. I glanced around my room, and the first thing I noticed was what I was holding onto for dear life.

It was Roxas's hand. Unlike mine, his was limp, just dangling in my vise grip as he slept. His head was leaning against my mattress, and he was sitting in a chair that I had put in the far corner of the room. He looked so cute when he was sleeping, like a puppy lost in the rain…

Whoa. Stop right there. You know what happens when you start to feel stuff for guys. It ends in pain.

Ugh…the pain…

It smacked me like a truck, running me over a million times. It was a searing pain, a burning ache in me chest, and I had to clutch it. A single tear streamed down my face.

"Namine?" Roxas asked, awake and examining me with worried eyes. I bit my lip. The pain did feel better, almost instantly, as soon as I heard his voice.

"It's nothing, Roxas. I have a terrible hangover." I told him to cover up what was really wrong. It was true, after all. His expression instantly turned into relief, and he stood up, trying to pry my fingers away from his hands. I couldn't let go; I wouldn't.

"Namine, I'll go get you some medication, but you have to let go." he told me lightly, poking at my index finger. My grip tightened.

"Don't leave… I don't want to be alone…" I whispered. His eyes flashed his own pained expression, but he quickly composed himself. With one hand, he scooped me up onto his lap and he wrapped his arms around me protectively.

"It's ok, Namine. Don't worry, I won't go, as long as you need me." he assured. I sighed against his chest. I could always count on Roxas. The hole in my chest glowed, and it was suddenly healed, Riku quickly forgotten. But I still feared the pain.

"Can I go with you to get the medicine?" I asked in a whisper, when my head couldn't take anymore. He nodded, helping me up and supporting my weight as we walked out the door. Judging my the eerie moans bouncing off of my walls, Sora and Kairi had just as bad a hangover as I did. Wow, we must have gotten really out of hand.

"Roxas…?" I asked wearily, as he reached into my bathroom cabinet and grabbed some Tylenol, "What did I do yesterday?"

"You don't remember?" he asked, amused. Judging by the way his lip was twitching upwards and he was suppressing the urge to laugh, I did something _bad_.

"Oh no. I didn't ask anyone for sex, right?!" I asked, panicky. My head spun faster, hammering away at my brain.

"No, no. nothing like that. But…wait, you have security cameras, right?" he asked suddenly, his grin stretching across his face. I nodded.

I'd had security cameras installed one day because of a freak break in. turns out, Seifer, high school I-break-all-the-rules bad boy, had broken into my house, attempting to kidnap me. Fortunately, I was at the office when the break in occurred. No problems now; Seifer was caught and thrown in prison, but I was too lazy to disarm all of the security cameras.

"Well, then you'll just have to see for yourself. It was pretty funny, but more the less I was horrified. Where'd you learn a song like that, Nams?" he asked, chuckling darkly. I paled. Song?

"I was singing?" I asked, horrified. He chuckled again and nodded his head. He never let go of my hand as we went to Kairi and Sora's separate rooms, their own Tylenol. My headache was dulling, and Sora and Kairi joined me in the living room. Roxas left for a brief period of time, but returned shortly with a compact disk in his hand, taken from the camera set up in my bar. I gulped.

"Ready?" he asked us, popping it into the DVD player. He skipped over to the sofa where the three of us sat anxiously, and sat down next to me, already cracking a smile.

…

"_Girl! I wanna take you to a gay bar! I wanna take you to a gay bar! I wanna take you to a gay bar, gay bar, gay bar!"_

I was horrified. Screeching out a long string of 'no's, I started throwing couch pillows at the screen. Kairi covered her ears and turned away, screaming bloody murder, and Sora fell backwards off of the couch, landing on his head and crying out in pain. Roxas couldn't take it anymore, doubling over with laughter, eventually falling to the ground and laughing so hard he was crying. After I ran out of pillows, I plugged my ears, humming a random out of tune song, and I dashed to the TV, turning it off. Kairi, Sora and I all blushed a deep Scarlett.

"I can't believe we did that…" Kairi mumbled, embarrassed.

"Sorry I broke your guitar, Namine." Sora apologized, looking away from everyone and staring blankly at the now black TV screen.

"When did I ever learn a song like that?!" I screeched, my voice cracking.

"I have no idea! But it was hilarious from my point of view!" Roxas giggled, and I kicked him.

"Why weren't you drunk, Roxas?" Sora asked, glancing at his cousin curiously.

"Well, I stepped out to go to the bathroom. When I came back, you were…" he trailed off, snorting. "I should put it on Youtube."

"NO!" all three of us shouted together, running for the DVD player and grabbing the disk. Kairi snapped it in half.

"Destroy all evidence. That never happened. Agreed?" she asked, hysterical.

"Agreed!" Sora and I saluted.

"Roxas." I asked when he didn't say anything.

"What?"

"Do you agree?"

"Of course not!"

"Your getting cocky again. Do you agree if your life depended on it?"

"My life doesn't depend on it."

I started texting Joey. (Rika)

_Josie, would u be a dear and bring my rifle? =)_

She was there instantly, throwing the gun at me, and I pointed it at my spiky haired blonde friend. He froze.

"Alright! Agreed! Sheesh, Namine. You don't have to shoot me. God."

I smiled a devilishly triumphant smile.

* * *

Kairi and Sora had left the house hours ago, heading back to their mansion next door. I never allowed Roxas to leave my side afterwards.

It was strange; his smile, his voice, even his scent suddenly seemed very familiar to me. like, i'd heard it somewhere before. i tried to recall where, but my mind wasn't up for it. i was just too tired.

so for now, we were sitting a safe distance apart on the sofa, watching The Grudge. I had deliberately refused to watch some sappy romance, accusing Roxas of opening the wound of my heart when he suggested it. I banned romance period, and now the words love, wedding, and marriage were cursed words, never to be spoken ever again. Roxas happily obliged, trying hard to make sure i wasn't in pain.

He's so sweet.

...

Dang it!

I flinched as the pain flowed, but it instantly recoiled, hissing as it dissapeared. Roxas had once again stopped the pain with his voice. I was so grateful to him right now.

"Getting scared, Nams?" he teased, looking at me with amused eyes. I rolled my own.

"Not really. I actually haven't been paying attention." I admitted. his smile instantly flipped.

"Painful?" he whispered, just as the girl screamed on screen.

"A little."

"Wanna go to sleep?"

"Yeah."

"Ok."

He helped me up, flipping the lights on and turning the movie off. I grabbed his hand instantly, and the pain was gone, like it never existed. Instead, my heart was a flutter of butterflies, rainbows, ponies, flowers, and other girly things. I think i needed Roxas like a drug now; he was the only one who could make the pain stop. At first, he hesitated at my touch, but when I smiled at him, he relaxed and squeezed my hand back, blushing. Add Bubbles to my wonderland of happyness. Happy, giggling, bubbles. Floating up, making everyone happy. The world should be a happy place. Bubbles would make the world better!

...Am I still drunk?

_Drunk on Love. _my subconscious mind snickered. I frowned at the thought. I'm not in love. I vowed never to fall in love again. Or else that nasty pain would kill me. And I like being alive, thank you very much!

_Don't argue with yourself. You love him; you've loved him since second grade._ My subconcious argued. Now hold up. I didn't know Roxas in second grade, SM. (subconscious mind) How could I love him if I'd never met him?

_Think. Remember the past. _I closed my eyes, allowing Roxas to guide me to my room as I dug into the confines of my mind. I definetly remember a Roxie...Is there some kind of link?

_What is your nickname for Roxas? _My SM asked as Roxas put me in bed. He sat in the same chair, never letting go of my hand. As I opened my eyes, he smiled. I couldn't help but smile back.

Roxie.

_And who was your second grade friend?_

...Roxie...

_Well done, You smart cookie you._

Wait...WHAT?!

* * *

**HA. I couldn't help myself. Nami had to get drunk to forget the god awful pain, and about the gay bar song? haha. Me and Mac(my partner in crime) watched a pretty funny video and we've been singing that song all day.**

** in public. XD**

**She remembered! yay for the SM!**

**oh yeah, for anyone who wonders, the song i used in the last chapter is To Be With You, by David Archuleta. go listen to it; it touched my heart. and while your at it, listen to the songs You Can and Waiting For Yesterday. those three songs gave me the idea for this whole story. =)**

**NamineCries4Riku? again, your questions are awsome. **

**please, anyone, ask any question you want to ask. wanna see something in the story? ask me, and i might throw it in there. ;)**


	8. Somebody Out There

**I'm back, and IM FREAKING EARLY FOR A CHANCE!**

**disclaimer: YAY! i don't own _Somebody Out There_ by David Archeleta. (LOVE HIM. =D) or Kingdom Hearts. (LOVE IT.=D)**

**Chapter 8 Somebody out there**

"**There's somebody out there**

**Somebody somewhere**

**To show you the tenderness you need**

**Somebody to hold you **

**When worries control you**

**I'd give anything if only you knew **

**It was me."**

"Rox….as?" I choked out, my breath catching in my throat. he turned to me, suddenly alarmed.

"Namine? what's wrong?" he asked, sitting up straight. I just stared at him with wide eyes.

"Who was your second grade teacher?" I asked, weary. I was in a whirlpool of emotions; Fear, excitement, anxiety, pain, confusion, even a hint of anger was thrown in there. Roxas thought for a second, weighing down his words before he told me.

"Mrs.…. Awakara." he whispered, glancing at my expression in a slight fear. I kept my face composed, though I was screaming like a maniac in my head.

"I see. why is it that I'm hearing of this now?" I asked, the small hint of anger leaking into my voice. he flinched.

"You never asked…and I wanted you to remember on your own." he admitted, looking away from my face. the anger vanished, replaced by remorse. He shouldn't be sad! it was wonderful news that I remembered my very first best friend! I surprised him by throwing myself at him, wrapping him in a hug. Memories flowed free from the vault of agonizing things that I swore never to remember. suddenly, it all seemed so clear, why I had forgotten someone as important as Roxas was to me.

*Flashback*

_Hey, Roxie!" I chirped, excited. he jogged up to me, but his expression was contorted in the worse tormented look possible._

"_What's wrong?" I immediately asked, concerned. he gave me a forced smile, but turned away from me._

"_Nams…my parents want to move to Radiant Gardens." he said, slowly, carefully examining my face. I blinked back surprise._

"_Why?" I asked innocently, fighting tears. Roxas was like my own personal sun, making my dull world shine with unexpected beauty. I also had to admit that I had a great crush on him, ever since he showed his bravery in that playground in the second week of school. He meant everything to me; Why did he have to leave?_

"_My dad found a job offer he couldn't refuse. I'm leaving on Wednesday." he said sadly, sniffing tears away himself. I couldn't hold back any longer; the tears overflowed, trickling down my face as the silence dragged on. I timidly wrapped my arms around his waist, crying into his shoulder. he patted my back in comfort._

"_Don't be sad, Nams. I'll come back one day. then we could be together forever!" He exclaimed, pulling back and wiping the tears away. I smiled at his words, holding out my pinkie finger._

"_Promise?" I asked, sniffing back a new wave of waterworks. he smiled, wrapping his pinkie around mine._

"_Absolutely! You'll see. I'll be like that fairytale prince charming you always talk about. The one that goes away for a while, but comes back in the end to save the princess from the evil dragon!" he chirped, sniveling slightly. I giggled; though it sounded dead and choked. _

_everyone knew that Roxas and I were inseparable. we loved each other like family, and in some cases, we actually were. Mrs. Akamura was never surprised when I came to stay; neither was my mother when Roxas came to my house. of course, I loved him more than he knew._

_but you could ask anyone, and he loved me just as much._

_*End flashy*_

Of course I didn't remember. That day was one of the darkest days of my childhood. I remember what my mother had told me once. She explained to her girlfriends that I was, "A poor little baby, heartbroken because I just lost my first love." I pushed Roxas out of my life that day, vowing never to remember such a sad, depressing time.

Huh.

I cried into his chest now, much, much older as the memories came back.

"You kept your promise." I mumbled. He hesitated, slowly patting my back awkwardly like he had as a seven year old. I stayed there, thinking.

back then, I loved Roxas in a way that I had loved Riku. (the pain was hissing in the background, dying to come out, but Roxas kept it away from me) Now, eighteen years later, I harbored no feelings for the opposite sex. Well, I stopped having such feelings yesterday, for a reason we all know about, but that was besides the point. I saw Roxas as only a friend; a very close best friend. I loved him in that way-and that way only. We were both older now; we both matured. Had he moved on? I know I had. But then, why was he having such a positive impact on my life now? Was that a best friend thing? I was so confused.

"Well, Nams. I promised I would come back, didn't I? you know I tend to keep my promises." He grinned, laughing lightly and ruffling my hair. I smiled back, wiping at my eyes.

"Well, it took you long enough." I teased, pulling away from him.

"God. I'm so relieved you remembered! Takes a giant load off of my chest." he sighed. "Now things can go back to the way they used to be."

his words caught me off guard, and I sucked in a deep breath. was he referring to the friendship? or was he referring to that unmistakable love? _I don't feel that way anymore, idiot_! I screamed in my head.

"But now, thank god you met her, We can add Kairi. Oh, and Sora, Axel, Olette, and even Hayner to that tiny little circle of friends you have." he added, chuckling. I exhaled. "Seriously, Nams. Were you antisocial of something?"

he was referring to the time before. before I met him, before I met anybody life changing. my life was that of the everyday hermit crab's; get up, get dressed, go to school, eat, sleep.

"No, not antisocial. I was just…shy. I didn't like letting other people into my world; and besides, I didn't know how friendship worked. I had imaginary friends, Jack and Sarah, but they weren't real." obviously.

"Ah, Jack and Sarah." he recalled, laughing louder. I blushed, throwing a pillow at him.

"Don't make fun of them!" I scolded lightly, then got out of bed and stretched. he stayed seated in the chair.

"What time is it?" I asked. he shrugged.

"Eight maybe. Why?"

"I'm gonna call Kairi. And Sora."

I skipped over to the phone, everything else in my life long forgotten. My mind was filled with happiness, that my tiny little brain had finally remembered my bestie friendie. I dialed Kairi's number, and she picked up in the second ring.

"Namine?!" she asked, panicky, "What's wrong?! Did Riku come back?! Is Seifer back?! Do you need help opening your Ben and Jerry's ice cream tub?!"

"No, no, just listen. Guess what? I remembered Roxas from second grade!" I squealed, excited. The line was silent.

3...2...1...

"OH EM F GEE!!!!" Kairi screamed, and thus, the gossip began. I jumped up and down like a little girl, talking with so much animation you'd think I was a little girl. Roxas, obviously creeped out and feeling awkward with all of the girl talk, excused himself hours ago and went to his guest room far away. I told Kairi the whole story, from my subconscious mind to the promise.

"Oh my god, I'm so happy! You have no idea how much it tormented me to try and get you to remember. When Roxas called me that one day, I saw it as the light from the heavens and I assigned him to you. I am a brilliant matchmaker!" she squealed. I got tired of my nonstop jumping and I sat down on the bed.

"Matchmaker? No, Kai. It's not like that. We both moved on from that silly crush. Were just bestie friendies again." I explained. Kairi huffed.

"Denial, to the both of you. Hold the phone out to Roxas." she told me. I looked around the room, sighing.

"Roxas left. He went to bed." I glanced at the clock as I spoke, and the little red digits said one twenty-three in the morning. Kairi and I gossip like high school cheerleaders. Gosh.

"Darn. Well, go wake him up. I need a word with him." she pushed. I frowned.

"No! he's sleeping. I don't want to wake him up, it's rude." I argued. Kairi huffed again, and I heard her get up.

"If you don't wake him up, I'll go over there right now and do it for you." she threatened. I sighed.

"Fine. But I'm holding you responsible if he's a grouchy riser." I pouted, creaking my door open and stepping out into the pitch black hallway.

I hated my house at night. It was the most terrifying thing in the world, for someone who had a strong fear of the dark. And I had a strong fear of the dark, let me tell you. I ran my fingers along the walls, using them for support and pressing buttons on my phone to give me a little bit of light. Kairi was still on the phone, but she wasn't talking. I crept along, flinching at every little squeak my floor boards made. Maybe for Halloween, I could open a haunted house and charge money for it… none of that. I'd be scared stiff of entering my own home for weeks if I did that.

When the door to Roxas's guest room came into view, I almost screamed in relief. I dashed for it, releasing the wall and bursting through the door.

Roxas was asleep, as I'd predicted, in the bed by the window. He was curled up under the covers, facing away from me, his blonde spikes protesting against the pillow as he slept. The room was dimly lit, thanks to a full moon high above shining directly through the center of the window. I crept to his bed, slightly fearful of his reaction to being woken up in the middle of the night.

"Roxas…" I whispered, shaking him lightly. He moaned, swiping an arm out towards my face. I squealed and dodged last second, my heart pounding.

"Go away." he muttered, rolling over. I pinched his arm this time, hiding afterwards. I crouched down, covering my head. "Roxas, wake up!" I whispered, more furiously now.

"Namine, No! It's bed time. Go away." he complained, pulling the blanket over his head. I sighed.

"Kairi, he's not getting up." I told her.

"Put the phone to his ear." she ordered. I did as I was told.

"ROXAS HIKARI AKAMURA! GET OUT OF BED RIGHT NOW!" I heard Kairi yell at full volume. Roxas jumped, bringing a hand to his ear.

"Ouch, Kairi! What do you want?!" he shouted, but as he looked around, he got confused.

"Namine, where's Kairi?" he asked, slightly fearful. I handed him the phone.

"What do you want?" Roxas spat, rubbing his eyes and pouting. My assumptions were right. He was a grouchy riser. Kairi chattered away, blabbing like always, but Roxas's expression changed dramatically. At first, he looked pained, then confused, then angry, then pained again. I wondered what they were talking about.

"Okay. Bye." he sighed, handing the phone back to me.

"What was that about?" I asked as he fell back onto his pillows, rubbing his eyes with his palms.

"Nothing." he quickly responded, rolling over so his back was to me. I pouted.

"_Come on, Roxie. _tell me!" I wined, pushing his shoulder many times. He groaned in response, pulling the covers over his head. I pouted, folding my arms over my chest.

"Fine." I growled, rising up and storming back to my room. I collapsed on the bed, and suddenly, I was shaking. Badly. And sobbing. Badly.

The pain! Ah, the horrible pain. Waiting in the shadows until my protector had left, Striking like a cobra, and dragging my away into some hole in the ground. Evil, evil pain. Evil, evil Riku. I tried not to dwell on his name, and instead forced myself to remember those times way back then, when boys had cooties and dating was the greatest sin you could commit. When life was easy. When Roxas was the only friend I ever had in my entire life.

I smiled at those memories, hearing Roxas singing from somewhere off in the distance, as a smaller, seven year old boy, as I drifted into a deep sleep, dreaming about a wonderful land I called my happy place.

hint, hint, wink, wink: my happy place was a land that was entirely blue, with white leaves on all of the trees, and pink cherry blossoms in between. It was only a park, where the grass was a light, baby blue with mixtures of blue green and navy blue thrown in. Kairi was there, younger, seven years old, like me and Roxas. I hadn't met Kairi until middle school, in sixth grade, but she had shown me pictures, and that's how I imagined her. Olette, Hayner, Tifa, and Denzel were there too. All we did in my blue field of happiness was play tag, laughing and joking like good times. I want life to be like that again, carefree. Roxas's younger singing voice was still singing in the distance, but it was noticeably maturing. I marveled at it's perfection, listening to the song.

**(A/N- just in case anyone is confused, older, 25 year old Roxas is singing a song, as said below. Namine is hearing it as she sleeps, so then her younger version of Roxas is singing it in her dream. Hokay?)**

* * *

**(ROXAS'S POV)**

Kairi sure had nerve, waking me up in the middle of the night to discuss _that, _of all things.

"Roxas, does she know you still love her?" she'd asked me on the phone.

"No. it's clear she doesn't feel the same way. She keeps stressing out the words 'best friend'. besides, I can't hurt her. She's only just now figured out the whole Riku cheating thing. It would be painful, stupid, retarded, idiotic even to just move in like that." I stressed in a hushed whisper, for Namine was right behind me.

"Yeah and all, but Roxie, she loves you. I know her. She denies a lot of stuff that's important. Example A, Everything Riku did in the past. She blew that off like it was nothing; she's bound to ignore love, especially right after the wedding fiasco." Kairi scolded. I blushed at the word love, but pressed other matters.

"How do you know she could…love me?" I muttered, choking the word out. Kairi sighed, clearly annoyed, then launched into explanation, babbling at top speed.

"OK. When I first met her, she was a little nobody, wandering around aimlessly on campus. She was a straight A kid, no friends, no life. When I decided to talk to her, she didn't talk back. When I asked her to be my friend, she only muttered, 'Roxie is my only friend.' that got me curious. I do research, you know. My dad owned all of the schools I went to. So yeah, I snuck into her file, finding yours right next to it. Reading it, it said, and I quote, 'Once Roxas left, she was an empty shell, devoid of life.' and then later, when she gave in to my constant pestering, she opened up to me, and explained that Roxie was her one true love when she was a kid. She never mentioned you ever again. So I went back to her files, flipping through yours," she paused, "Sorry." she laughed sheepishly for admitting it, but I just kept silent. "And I found out that you guys were like twins, joined at the hip. I called Sora, he was my best friend, after all, and he explained that you were his cousin. So after that breakthrough, I silently planned your get together, never approaching the subject with Namine ever again. I guess she pushed those memories away, because whenever I asked her about it, she always looked hurt. But of course, my plan was ruined when Riku started to show a liking to her. They got together, don't ask how cuz I don't know, and my plans went spiraling down to the Earth. But of course, Quistis, your Aunt, called, and explained that she had a talented young new star for my enterprise. Once she mentioned your name, my plan rose from the ashes, and here we are again. I'm not giving up, Roxie-poo. Don't think I will. My plan will come through in the end, and Nami will never have to go through tat awful pain again." Kairi finished, breathing heavily afterwards. I sighed, slightly angered.

"Kairi, don't push it. If she doesn't want to get into another relationship, then it's fine by me. I'll stay by her side, no matter how she sees me." I told her, irritation leaking into my hushed whisper. Kairi scoffed.

"Please, Roxas. She knows there's somebody out there for her, and she might not know it, but that person is you." she pointed out. I sighed.

"Kairi, don't push it. Please." I begged. It took a while, and after a long silence, Kairi sighed herself.

"Fine. But I _will_ try." and she hung up.

As much as I hated to admit it, Kairi was right. When Namine became my friend, it was like Destiny, fate, and karma were all relieved. Nami always did stress how there was a prince charming out in the wilderness for her, biding his time to spring up and save her. But she didn't know that he was closer than she knew.

Or did she?

"_Please, Roxas. She knows there's somebody out there for her, and she might not know it, but that person is you." _

I'm inspired. I think it's time to write a new song.

I sprang up from the bed, wandering into the music room. I grabbed my favorite guitar, Black and white, (naturally) and traveled back into my room, propping myself on the bed. I grabbed a notebook, my special song notebook, off of the bedside table and opened it to the first blank page, strumming my guitar lightly.

"_There's Somebody out there,_

_Somebody somewhere,_

_To show you the tenderness you need._

_Somebody to hold you_

_When worries control you,_

_I'd give everything_

_If only you knew it was me…"_

Sweet! I'm on a roll. I scribbled down the lyrics, smiling brightly to myself. If Namine heard this, she would surely understand. But I'll make sure this is a song to myself. And only myself. I started strumming again, thinking of Namine and focusing on the first verse.

"_Sitting all alone in your room…"_

* * *

**(Namine's POV)**

Months passed. Life was getting back to normal. Because of my burning hatred for Riku now, and the excruciating pain, Kairi had promoted me up to the top floor at work. Roxas had followed, since he was assigned, and now, I was living the life, you could say. Kairi and Sora stayed with me most of the time, up on the top floor, and Olette and Hayner eventually hopped up too. Olette was my client too, after all. Roxas and I had become inseparable, just like the good old days, and Kairi often complained, saying "Joined at the hip, I tell you!" so today, it was just another average day in the office, laughing and joking with each other while playing poker.

"Ugh! Kai, it's no fair. You always win." Sora wined, as Kairi greedily scooped up our money again. Everyone nodded along side Sora.

"What? It's not my fault I'm multitalented." Kairi teased, kissing Sora on the cheek. We all laughed and put our poker chips away for the day.

And of course, Axel comes bursting through the door with the biggest smile on his face.

"GUESS WHAT EVERYBODY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" he shouted. We all just stared at him blankly.

"Axel. This is why I'm the favorite child. Did you ever hear of knocking?" Kairi scolded. Axel rolled his eyes, propping himself on our table and looking at each of us with excitement.

"Party. Tonight. My house." he said slowly, adding tension to each word. Hayner and Roxas grinned, knuckle bumping Axel. Olette, Kairi and I gave skeptical looks to each other, already knowing this wouldn't end well.

"What time?" Sora asked, excited.

"Eight tonight. Be there, or be square." and with those last words, Axel skipped cheerfully out the door. The boys started chatting animatedly, while us girls huddled together, discussing the oncoming disaster.

"Kairi, do you know how many people will be there?" Olette asked, shooting worried glances at Hayner.

"No idea. But knowing Axel, a lot. And a lot of pretty girls, and a lot of beer. Lots, and lots of beer." Kairi whispered back, and we both involuntarily shuddered. Never again.

"So basically, lots and lots of drunk people." Olette summed up, and we glanced at the guys, who were laughing and punching each other.

"Scratch that. Basically, lots and lots of drunk guys."

"Sounds about right."

"I'm going. Hayner is not going to do anything rash." Olette said, standing up with a look of irritation.

"I'm going to. Sora gets panicky when he's surrounded by drunk people." Kairi sighed. They both peeked at me.

"Oh what the heck. But no beer for me." I said, and we silently shook each other's hands.

"Stick together, kay?"

* * *

The party was everything we'd been dreading. Flashy lights, a disco ball, and all of Axel's furniture, moved into one room, created a giant dance floor in the center of every room except for the bedrooms. Axel's house was as big as Kairi's, after all. And the bedrooms were reserved…for not so pleasant things.

"There he is." I muttered to Ventus, "Time to pounce."

Your probably wondering. "Who in the Sam heck is Ventus?" and "Why are you hanging out with him?" well….

*flashback*

_Our group was bigger than expected, and Kairi had to use an extra long stretch limo. Our party consisted of Me, Kairi, Olette, Hayner, Sora, Roxas, Selphie, Ventus (Roxas's older brother), Aqua (Roxas's older sister), Terra, (their friend) Tidus, Wakka, Denzel, Larxene, Zexion, Marluxia, Demyx, Marlene, Yuffie, Garnet, Zidane, Yuna, Rikku, Paine, Aerith, and Cid. Also tagging along, though I really despised the two of them, were Riku and Xion. After I vented my feelings to Kairi, who sat next to me on the cramped limousine, she told me this heartbreaking story:_

"_Nams, Riku wanted me to tell you why he did all of those things." she started, hesitating. Although I was furious at the mere mention of his name, I waved my hand for her to continue, genuinely curious._

"_When we were thirteen…his parents had a nasty brawl. His oldest brother, Setzer, was home for the holidays from college. Riku and Setzer were like this." she held her hand up, fingers crossed. I nodded for her to continue._

"_Well, Riku's dad was terribly drunk, like us that first day…you remember. But he was more violent, less loopy. He smacked his wife, and they started fist fighting. Eventually, Setzer tried to stop it. Well…Riku's dad took a smashed bottle to his head." she told me, and I involuntarily shuddered. _

"_The cops showed up, took his dad away, and his mom ended up in the hospital. Setzer died, and his mom is still in a coma. Poor Xemnas had to raise the family." she said sadly, "That's why Sora and I stuck by him. We only knew he was grieving; just like you are. Remember, Nams. Were all here for you."_

_So that's why. But it didn't change anything. _

_Once we got to the house and filed out of the car, Axel came up to us, a purple party hat with feathers on it on his head, and greeted us._

"_Sup guys! Glad all of you could make it!" he exclaimed, the beer in his cup slightly over flowing. I flinched away from the liquid. Never again!_

_Everyone pushed past Axel, anxious to get in, and soon, our group was lost to the numbers of the people sea. I wandered to a couch, hiding in the corner, and Roxas tagged along. Once we sat down, I sort of did a double take._

_There were two Roxas's! two! _

"_Namine! It's been so long since I've seen you." the other Roxas exclaimed, grinning. The Roxas next to me grinned back._

"_Nams, you remember my older brother Ventus, right?" he asked, pointing to the other Roxas. That got a memory jog in my head. _

_It used to scare me how much these two looked alike. You could say they were twins; in which case, they could pass for, except Ven was twenty- eight. Ven had the same hairstyle, same blue eyes, same cheesy grin. The only thing different was his casual outfit; just a white t-shirt and black jeans. He sat down next to me._

"_Rox has told me a lot about you. Jeez, you grew up." he commented. I blushed and turned to Roxas, giving him the You-talk-about-me-behind-my-back?! look._

"_Aqua won't believe it. She missed you too, you know." Ven commented, waving the familiar blue haired girl over. I instantly shot over and gave her a hug._

"_Aqua!" I squealed, and she squealed back, hugging me tightly. Aqua was my only girl friend back then._

"_Aw, I didn't expect to see you here! Ven and I just came to visit old Roxie." she sighed, and Ven and Aqua launched into what they'd been up to for the past eighteen years. Seemed both had gotten married, Aqua to Terra and Ven to someone named Yuri. They were both happy now. _

_As his brother and sister babbled on, Roxas had slithered away into the crowd._

"_Aqua! Come on, have some fun!" Terra called, and Aqua brimmed with excitement. She gave me an apologetic look, promised me she would call, and left._

_Which left me and Ven, Roxas's look alike older brother._

_And, as if under some unfortunate circumstance, Riku had showed up, right in my line of sight, an arm wrapped protectively around Xion. The raven haired girl looked so much sweeter with a smile on her face instead of that deathly scowl she reserved only for me. I flinched my eyes away from them in disgust._

"_What's wrong?" Ven asked, noticing my discomfort. I shook my head._

"_Nothing." I mumbled, but it was unheard over the loud music._

_Then, inspiration spoke to me, and I went with it. It really wasn't something I would normally do, but I would do anything to make him feel bad. The images that shot through my head were wonderful._

_I would make Riku jealous. He knew I loved Roxie, and I had an excellent substitute sitting right next to me. If I could show him how happy I was, then he would feel terrible. Just like I had after the wedding. I'm brilliant._

"_Hey Ven? Could you do something for me?" I asked innocently. Ven gave me a look, but nodded his head._

"_Sure. What do you need?" he asked, though skeptical. He noticed how I was glaring fiercely at Riku's back._

"_Could you pretend to be Roxas for a while?" I asked, looking at him with puppy dog eyes. _

"_OK….why?" he asked, confused by my wish._

"_Because. I'm not sure if you heard, but I had the worst wedding ever recorded in history a few months ago. My husband to be was cheating, and I didn't learn about it until the wedding itself. Now see that man? With the silver hair?" I asked, stabbing a finger in Riku's back, "That's him. And I know it doesn't sound like me, but I want him to know how much it hurt. Could you help me out?" I asked. Ven looked torn between wrong and right, but then he got that look of getting an idea into his face and he quickly nodded his head._

"_Cool."_

_*end flashy*_

Ven was excellent at acting. After all, he's won an Oscar, an Emmy, and multiple others I didn't really care for. He slipped a hand into mine, glancing around the room, and I was pretty sure he was thankful his wife didn't want to fly to see Roxas. I composed my face, forcing a smile, and we walked out onto the dance floor. I stood myself directly in Riku's point of view, and a slow song started playing. I shot one quick glance at my ex-fiancé, then wrapped my arms around Ven's neck, awkwardly dancing. Riku did notice how happy I seemed, key word seemed, and it did cause him pain, much to my pleasure. I was bubbling over with this devilishly evil desire to do something terrible-something that considered a baseball bat, car keys, and Riku's car. Yes, I wanted to kill his four wheel drive. Badly.

It didn't help that it was a brand new Mercedes.

All too soon, my fun was over. Riku couldn't take anymore, dragging Xion out, muttering things like, "It's not my scene." and "I'm feeling bushed." disappointment flooded my system, and I groaned in defeat.

"Fun's over." I sighed. I unwrapped my arms and hugged Ven.

"Thanks for helping me get him back."

He hugged me back for a brief second. "No problem. Anything for family."

His words caught me off guard. Family?

"Please, Namine. You might not see it, but everyone around you knows you love Roxas." he explained. I blushed.

"Do not! I'm sworn off of love." I pouted. He just laughed and ruffled my hair playfully.

"Yeah, yeah. Come tell me that when you have to invite me to the wedding." he chuckled, walking off. He gestured for me to come. I did, crossing my arms over my chest and grumbling.

"You listen to me, Ventus Akamura. I do not love Roxas in that way. I love him like a brother. He's my best friend. Ok?"

Ven only rolled his eyes and waved me off. "Sure, sure."

And, as if on cue, Roxas walked up to me, dazed and lost.

"Finally! Someone I recognize. I've been wandering this house for hours. Do you know where the others are?" he asked, rubbing the back of his neck. I giggled as he approached; not helping my side of the argument with Ven, who only looked at me like he was suppressing laughter.

"Nope." I said, popping the 'p'. He chuckled.

"Well, Roxie darling, I've already had my dance with your lovely wife-to-be. It's your turn." Ven teased, punching his brother in the shoulder playfully. Roxas blushed and pushed Ven back.

"She's not my 'wife-to-be." he mumbled, putting his fingers up in air quotes. It surprised me how disappointed I was about his words. My SM was arguing, saying "Aw! No…Roxie-poo, I want to be your wife to be!" while the rest of my mind was shying away from the idea, repulsed by it.

"Sure, sure. I'll leave you two love birds alone." and with that, Ven stalked off, flipping a phone out of his pocket and dialing a number as he disappeared. Probably calling Yuri, no doubt.

"Well, Mr. Prince charming?" I prompted, sighing. Roxas looked taken aback, surprised that I was ok with dancing. He remained silent while I took his hand.

It was weird. We didn't necessarily dance, more the less sway awkwardly back and forth, waddling like penguins. Another slow song was playing; and couples littered the makeshift dance floor, holding each other close and whispering things into each other's ears. I felt out of place; the only single person in the room, dancing with her best friend.

_Your not the only single person._ SM argued. I glanced around, confused. Where was my SM looking?

_I'm looking right in front of your face. _it answered, and I looked ahead to meet Roxas's eyes. He was a head taller than me, his blonde bangs falling into his face, that big, wide happy grin spread across his face.

He's my best friend. Nothing more.

_You mind says that; but what about your heart?_

I thought about that one. I focused in on the _thump, thump, thump _of my heartbeat. Then I noticed that was erratic; my heart was sent a flutter, just by looking into his deep cerulean eyes. With each beat, my heart leaked out love. I quickly wiped that thought away.

_See? Follow your heart, Namine._

But…if I follow my heart…

What would happen if it ended badly?

"Hey Roxas? Have you ever thought that there was someone out there, just for me, who loved me for me, and everything about me?" I asked him. He blushed, then paled, then composed himself.

"Of course, Namine." he answered, sending a slightly forced smile my way. I frowned.

"My subconscious mind is telling me to follow my heart. And it says that it's you." I told him, leaning my head onto his chest. He gulped, and I started homing in on his heartbeat. It was beating twice as fast as mine.

Then, I laughed.

"Silly me. Silly little old me. That's ridiculous, huh? You're my bestest friend ever, Roxie. Nothing can break through that bond." I giggled. Roxas sighed, slowly wrapping his arms around my body in a hug. We stopped moving. When I looked at him again, a single tear streamed down his face.

"Oh, Namine." he sighed.

_**I'd give anything, if only you knew it was me.**_

_**I'd give anything, oh**_

_**Anything at all**_

_**I think it's time that you knew…**_

_**It was me.**_

**

* * *

****DAVID ARCHULETA?!?!?!?!**

**i love you.**

**anyway, i recently discovered this song, and it's downright amazing. all of David's songs mix together so nicely for this story; it's amazing.**

**and MAC? SHUT UP! So what if I'm Obsessed with his songs?! I'm Obsessed with Taylor, too!**

**and TAYLOR SWIFT?!?!?!?! CONGRATS ON ENTERTAINER OF THE YEAR! =)**

**thanx to everybody. and purple shoes will come out next chapter. XD someone out there knows what I'm talking about.**


	9. You Can

**Chapter 9**

"NAMINE! CRISIS!" Kairi shouted, banging on my front door with all of the force in her body. I rubbed my eyes groggily as I dragged my feet along the carpet to the door. Why was Kairi here, at five in the morning, shouting at the top of her lungs? It made no sense. Even Kairi would need sleep after a party like that. She wasn't invincible; and besides, I had the flu. She knew that.

Roxas slumped over from around the corner, glaring daggers at the doorway.

"Kairi…" he hissed, narrowing his eyes. I didn't even have time to let her in properly; she broke the doorknob, burst in, and grabbed me by my shoulders, shaking me around roughly.

"Namine! Huge, huge, huge, huge, HUGE omega problem." she said, ignoring Roxas's long string of profanities.

"What is it, Kai?" I asked sleepily, stifling another yawn. I tried to pull away from the red head's tight grasp but she wouldn't loosen her hold.

"Namine, the Queen of Disney castle just asked me to join her for tea tomorrow!" she hissed, shaking me more violently as the desperation came out of her eyes. Roxas clearly stiffened, as did I.

The Queen. The Queen!

"_The queen _of _the_ Disney Castle asked _You_ to come join _her_ for _tea_?!" I said breathlessly. I was suddenly wide awake. Kairi nodded her head, starting to hyperventilate. Kairi had worshipped the ground Queen Minnie walked on since the day she was born. Everything about Kairi came from Queen Minnie; her look, her fashion ideas, her job, even. Queen Minnie wasn't called a Queen for nothing; she owned Destiny Islands, Twilight Town, and Radiant Gardens, along with everything and everyone that resided in those towns.

"Kairi! Stop shaking me! Breath! Relax!" I ordered. She let me go immediately, taking deep breaths and pacing around the room. This was the first time I had ever seen her lose her cool.

"Ok. First things first. Do you have an outfit?" I asked slowly, like I was talking to a three year old. Kairi nodded her head frantically, pulling out a large white plastic bag.

"Ok. You need to change into it."

"I can't!" She cried.

"Why not?"

"Because I can't!"

"Oh boy…"

"Can you come with me?" she asked, dropping to her knees. "Please! You'll get paid double! You too, Roxas!"

"Yes, yes, just head into my room and change." I sighed, patting my best female friend on the back. There goes my Saturday…

I followed Kairi up into my room, helping her through sobs as she slipped an elegant purple cocktail dress on. It was strapless velvet, ending at her calves, with a beaded finish at the top. She slid black heels on her feet and tied the laces up her ankles, grabbing a small black clutch to match. I sat her down and did her hair for her, separating it and curling it into a beautiful bun with five thousand dollar hair clips and pins. She smiled then stared at me.

"Namine, go get your best dress." she ordered, stomping out of the room. Was Kairi on her period? She never had mood swings like these….

Sighing and saying 'what the heck?' I trudged into my closet and started filing through my presentable dresses. There was one, and it was one I wished never to think about again. The wedding dress. I tore it out, throwing it into a far corner before searching again.

Kairi had stocked my closet behind my back. It was jam crammed with dresses of my favorite colors- white, baby blue, sky blue, and soft, grass green. My normal casual clothing was no where to be found. Sighing, more in defeat than anything, I grabbed the first dress my hand touched and pulled it on.

"Oh. My. God." Kairi exaggerated, standing in the doorway in her purple dress. She looked me up and down and gave a thumbs up. Roxas wandered up behind her, wearing a signature black tux, and whistled when he saw me. I blushed. I looked down at my feet, held my breath, and turned to the mirror.

It was gorgeous, naturally a baby blue Rinasaki designer runway dress I saw Rinoa wearing on TV the other day. It had a circular neckline, the thinnest of all spaghetti straps, and it was sequined like that of an ice skater's leotard. It actually ended mid-thigh, but a layer of see-through fabric flowed past to her ankles in the back, and barely showing her shins in the front. It had a low arched back, ending just above her thighs but with a blue ribbon sliding through it. Kairi threw white heels at my face, and I slipped them on wordlessly.

"Namine, next time, your wearing the runway grand slam." Kairi commented, making me blush just that much more. She skipped around, pulling out her phone and slamming her fingers on the buttons as she left. Roxas walked up to me, handing a light sky blue shawl to me. I wrapped it around my slim figure, thanking him and taking his hand. This would be some vacation, I just knew.

* * *

Kairi had pulled out her own private jet just for the occasion, and at the moment she was having a battle to the death in guitar hero against Sora. Owl City was humming softly somewhere in the deep, deep background, trying to make itself known through the heavy metal rock crap Kairi was playing, but failing miserably in it's attempts. It was also blocked out by the constant screams of victory from Kairi and the baby whining from Sora, who was wearing the same penguin suit as Roxas, who at the moment was sitting silently by my side on the first class seats off to the side of the TV and game station, but across from the indoor bar. No one went near that; bad memories like that don't leave you so easily.

"Do they always do this?" Roxas asked halfway through the flight. I looked up from my magazine, popping my gum bubble.

"Pretty much. I know what your thinking; how did those two ever find each other? Well, destiny, and luck, and fate, and karma you could say. All things that hate my guts." I pouted. Truth me told, I didn't attract the right things for me. Nothing; I attracted Riku, and he ended up being a total jerk. I attracted attention, something I've hated since I was a baby. The only good things I've ever attracted were Kairi, Sora, and Roxas. And I didn't know how long it would take for them to bolt on me, the god awful unlucky girl. That was all I was. Unlucky, damaged, and unhappy. I was a burden to all of the ones I loved…a burden. Nothing more than a burden.

"What's wrong?" Roxas asked, concerned. I looked at him, confused, until I noticed that his entire head was blurry and unfocused. I blinked, uncertain of what was causing my vision to go haywire, until I discovered the small wet spot just under my eye. I tapped it, and I was _crying._

"N-no, I'm fine. Honest." I stuttered pathetically, sniffing as I dabbed at them. _Now was no time to show weakness, Namine_. I reminded myself. Roxas wrapped his arms around me nonetheless, trying to comfort me.

"Hey, I don't know what the water works are for, but whatever reason, I'm here for you." he cooed, shushing me and rubbing small circles on my back. I blushed at the contact.

It was weeks after the party, weeks after I confessed my subconscious mind told me I loved him. It wasn't awkward between us, and instead, our bond had grown stronger. He was like a brother, a father, a best friend, even a dog to me, always there for whatever reason I needed him. And I was his sister, his mother, his best friend, and his cat for whatever reason. But lately, I was beginning to doubt my sanity. My subconscious mind had predicted love to sprout and grow between us, and lately, I feel like it had. It was like a bomb, slowly ticking away and waiting for exactly the right moment to explode, blowing my heart to tiny bits and forcing me to open my eyes to what was right in front of me. But alas, the sane portion of my mind was the person standing there with wire cutters, trying to figure out which wire to cut to diffuse the tragedy. If I fell in love with my best friend, all hell is unleashed, or so I've been told in books and from girl friends. Unless he felt the same way, he would leave, never come back, never be my friend, father, brother, or dog ever again. He would go, just like that. But of course, if he returned the feelings…

But what were the odds of that? Who could love little broken old me? I was like that since the beginning, since I was born; damaged goods. I was frail, pale, and I needed someone to look after me, badly. Riku had taken his toll on my life. And I paid for that mistake through pain. It had ceased now, gone away, died off inside of me with Roxas around. I was unlucky and unhealthy for anyone, a burden, A problem, a mistake. One who was the sole survivor of a plane crash, while her boyfriend died protecting her. I was that girl.

Bad analogy, I know. But whatever.

"Namine! Your slower than molasses in January! Come on!" Kairi whined from outside. I jumped at my name, looking around only to find the small lounge empty and the door by the bar open with the sun shining through. I hurried to unbuckle my seatbelt and scurried out the door.

What I found shocked me to death. I wasn't outside; I was in some kind of gummi ship hanger. The light I saw was not sunlight, but artificial lights bright and blinding from the ceiling. Kairi, Sora, and Roxas all waited patiently with their bags by the door up on the second flight of stairs. I grabbed my back, running after them.

"Sorry. I guess I dozed off." I said, smiling sheepishly and rubbing the back of my head. Kairi rolled her eyes, taking Sora's hand and skipping through the big double doors up ahead. Roxas took my hand, gave it a gentle squeeze, and we followed after the red head.

Real sunlight greeted me through the double doors, and I absorbed it greedily. It felt wonderful, tickling my skin and playing with my hair. I glanced around, realizing we were in a garden…with large animals cut out of the shrubs. A pig playing the trumpet, a cow with drums, and a duck with a trombone. Weird.

"Come on! Mrs. Mouse is waiting!" Kairi squealed, now enthusiastic about our arrival. We followed her, through a small side door, up some more stairs, and down a long hallway. She stopped at the giant double doors in the center, looking up in awe.

"She's in here, lets go!" she whisper screamed, excitement leaking out. Is Kairi bipolar?

She knocked on one side of the door, then pushed it. I imagined the giant thing swinging open ever so slowly, inching along the carpet, but a small side door popped open instead. Roxas and I stared at it, dumbfounded. Sora chuckled.

"Yeah, we know. Weird, huh?" he commented, going through. We followed silently.

A small figure waited all the way down there, on the other side of the long room. I sighed in defeat, dragging my heels along the marble towards the throne, dejected. Kairi and Sora giggled while Roxas smirked.

"Welcome, guests." a high pitched, yet still lovely voice called, and I realized the queen was addressing us. Kairi immediately went business mode, running up to the throne and kneeling down. Sora mimicked her, and Roxas and I walked up, confused as ever.

The queen…was a mouse? Seriously a mouse?! A mouse. Minnie mouse was really a _mouse?!_

"Silly Kairi, rise! Sora, Donald and Goofy have missed you." the queen giggled, and Kairi lit up. She lunged, and picked up the queen in a hug. Sora sighed as well, looking excited.

"Where's the king?" he asked.

"He's in his study." the queen replied simply, and Sora was out the door in a heartbeat. Roxas and I stood awkwardly off to the side, unsure of what to do.

* * *

**(Kairi's POV)**

"Minnie, are you still up for my master plan of romance?" I whispered quietly so Namine and Roxas couldn't hear.

"Of course. Look at the two of them. It's like destiny." she whispered back, and we giggled to each other.

"Nami, Roxie, this is queen Minnie Mouse of Disney Castle, owner of everything we love." I explained, and I saw Namine roll her eyes at me but bow down nonetheless.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Queen Mouse." she said softly, with her wind chime tinkle-y voice. Roxas bowed as well, never releasing Namine's hand. I smiled at that.

"Please, please! Call me Minnie." my little mouse friend said, smiling warmly. "Follow me, and we'll go find Sora and start our discussion."

We followed Minnie out of the chamber, Roxas and Namine being slow and lagging behind us. I took this opportunity to fill Minnie in on the master plan.

"You know that party you host every five years? The Silk Masquerade? I have plans. Notice their outfits, along with mine. Were crashing your party tonight, Minns." I whispered, smirking.

"I would figure you would crash it, Kairi. You always do, but what's the plan for those two?" Minnie asked, inconspicuously jerking a thumb at the blondes.

"Simple. Roxas loves to play music; it's a masquerade. No one will know it's him playing a song he wrote just for Namine, I dug it up in his room," she added when she received 'the look' from Minnie, "but uh-oh! The lights go out! And Roxas is unmasked. Perfect ploy, I must say. And I'll make sure he dedicates the song to her, I swear." I finished, already triumphant. Minnie looked skeptical as she opened the door to Mickey's study.

"Are you sure that would work? What if Namine leaves the party unexpectedly?" she asked.

"No way. I won't let her take a step out of that room."

"Ow! Pluto, stop it! That hurts!" Sora wailed, laughing as the dog pounced on him and licked his face. goofy, Donald, and Mickey were surrounding him, chuckling but with obvious joy. They were happy to see their friend.

"Sora! Come here for a second!" I called. He pushed the yellow dog off of him, smiling as he approached.

"What's up?"

"You know the silk masquerade is tonight, right? It's time."

"Time? For…"

"Yup."

* * *

**(Namine's POV)**

I have terrible ideas.

First, I noticed Kairi and Queen Minnie whispering to each other, huddled up as we walked. They also shot a couple of mischievous looks our way. Then, once in the office, she pulled Sora aside and was whispering to him, and they shot us the mischievous look. I'm scared…

"Another muffin, miss Suzumiya?" King Mickey asked.

Wow. Miss Suzumiya. Didn't expect to be called that ever again. What was it that I was expecting? Mrs. Kurosawa. I shivered.

"Please, your majesty. Call me Namine. And yes, I'd love another."

Just thinking about the mere name of that awful person sent chills up my spine. It was a strange feeling, hate. I didn't like it at all.

"You ok?" Roxas whispered quietly, truly concerned. I blushed under the intensity of his gaze.

But Mrs. Akamura…Namine Akamura. Not bad, not bad at all. Mrs. Roxas Akamura. He was kind, sweet, gentle, handsome, caring, loving….

_STOP RIGHT THERE, NAMINE._

Ugh! Thoughts were so confusing! So very, very confusing. My subconscious was slowly becoming conscious, and my sanity was in check, _again. _I noticed that the wire cutter sane side of my brain came _this _close to cutting the wrong wire and forcing the bomb to blow, ruining everything. I had to keep myself distracted.

"Hey Kai? Since when did you guys know the Mouses?" I asked, the first random thing that came to mind. But my question did flare some curiosity deep down inside.

"Oh. Before I made Rinasaki inc. Minnie was my founder." she explained quickly, measuring my response. I narrowed my eyes but did nothing else.

Kairi was hiding something from me.

Dear god, I'm scared to death.

"So, Namine? Are you coming to the Silk Masquerade ball later tonight? Starts at nine, ends at three?" the king asked, pushing his chocolate pudding away. A silk masquerade?

"But I don't have a mask…" I said lamely.

"Nonsense. You can borrow one of ours. All of you can." Minnie jumped, obviously trying to cover for something.

Kairi is a great liar. Minnie, was not.

"Whatever." Roxas said, rolling his eyes. I just nodded my head, my narrowed eyes never leaving Kairi.

* * *

"Welcome, guests."

I peeked up from my random daydream, looking around the room through the eye holes in my mask. I was seated at the royal table, with Kairi, Roxas, Sora, Mickey, Minnie, Donald, and Goofy. All around at other orderly tables sat various other people, including Zidane and Garnet, Rinoa and Squall, (also known as Kairi's parents) Demyx, and Yuna and Tidus. Everyone was wearing flashy dresses and masks, most likely worth billions of dollars.

"Our meal is over, and now I welcome you to our dance floor, made of glass and overlooking our garden." Mickey announced, and a panel in the floor slowly slid out, creating a stage in the far side of the room and a glass dance floor. Kairi immediately jumped at the chance, dragging Sora with her.

"Awesome, dude." I mumbled sarcastically, slamming my head on the table. Roxas chuckled.

"Wanna dance, Blondie?" he smirked, and I blushed again. He really wasn't making this easy for me. I don't want to fall for you, idiot!

"Sure." crap. I took his hand anyway, letting him lead me to the dance floor. A nice, slow, disturbingly emotional song was playing, and Roxas led us to the beat, swaying peacefully on the dance floor wit everyone else. I did catch Kairi's eye once, and I noticed that she did look hopeful. I'll kill her later.

"Are you having fun?" Roxas asked, breaking me away from my thoughts. I stared up at him, nodding with a smile, but my eyes never left his, even though the cerulean ocean-ish blue was hidden behind a half black half white mask. It was heartwarming, to see those bright, happy orbs, and with the way they shone, it made me feel like the only person alive on the planet. My heart skidded around erratically inside my chest.

"You?" I asked in return. He chuckled.

"Perfect night. Were at a party, having fun, were together. It's all good." he replied, cracking a grin and blushing slightly. Aw! He wanted to be together with me. That's so sweet! I love him, the little teddy bear.

"I-I mean, you know, as friends-" he stuttered, misreading my expression. I giggled.

"It's ok, Roxas. I love you too." I joked.

He sighed in relief, and I noticed a new, brighter twinkle. He wasn't just giving me his usual warm, happy smile, he was glowing. Literally glowing. His normal smile pulled back into an ear to ear grin, all teeth showing, and his eyes were wider, a lighter shade of blue with out a name. the way he looked at me…was like he loved me. I sat down in my seat, waiting for him to take the one next to me.

"Well. Bye, Nams."

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where in the Sam heck are you going?

When my head snapped up, I only caught a glimpse of his retreating shape, disappearing in the crowd that gathered. No! why is he leaving? Is he going to go ask some random girl to dance? Why? Why is he leaving me?! No!

"I'd like to dedicate this song…to someone special. She's the one that completes my world."

Oh. There he is. What is he doing?

I jumped up in my seat, scurrying awkwardly into the crowd and jumping to get a glimpse of him. People scolded me, telling me to stop jumping, but I ignored them. I have more pressing matters to deal with. Where is Roxas?

"Namine, wherever you are, this is for you."

What's for me?! I'm so confused! What's happening?! Oh my god! Someone please explain!

An acoustic guitar started playing the sweetest notes I ever imagined possible, and I froze. That kind of playing… it was Roxas's playing. Why was he playing? What was he playing? He said this one is for you, Namine…the song was for me? Let's listen…

"_Take me where I've never been_

_Help me on my feet again._

_Show me that good things come to those who wait…_

_Tell me I'm not on my own_

_Tell me I won't be alone_

_Tell me what I'm feeling isn't some mistake…_

_Cuz if anyone can make me fall in love…_

_You can."_

A chorus of 'aw!' s echoed in the room while I stood frozen in shock in the center of the dance floor. Did he just use the L word? And the song was dedicated to me…it was safe to like him? Whoa! Wait! I don't like him! It's all a ploy! No! he'll hurt you, Namine…he'll leave. Then what would happen to you?

"_Save me from myself, you can_

_And it's you and no one else_

_If I could wish_

_Upon tomorrow_

_Tonight would never end, _

_If you asked me I would follow_

_But for now I just pretend_

_Cuz if anyone can make me fall in love,_

_You can."_

He said it again! Maybe what Kairi told me before many multiple times is true. a lot, after work or a day at the café or something, I would call Kairi and vent my mixed feelings to her. She always kept telling me, 'he loves you so much more than you know, stupid!' but I never really listened to her. I thought she was lying. Maybe not…? She also told me that I loved him too, but I was to much in denial to admit it. But the thoughts…the weird blushing at random times, my movements to be around him…they all pointed to the L word.

Love.

"_Baby when you look at me, tell me what do you see._

_Are these the eyes of someone you could love…"_

Dear god yes. That's not a question to ask. I love the strange bright blue color of his eyes. It's beautiful.

_Cuz everything that brought me here,_

_Well now it all seems so clear_

_Baby you're the one I've been dreaming of_

_Cuz if anyone can make me fall in love, you can."_

I can make him fall in love? With me? _Me_?! The burden, the problem, the mistake? He _loves_ me?

"_Save me from myself, you can_

_And it's you and no one else_

_If I could wish upon tomorrow_

_Tonight would never end_

_If you asked me I would follow_

_But for now I just pretend_

_Cuz if anyone can make me fall in love, _

_Baby you can take me_

_Sailing in your deepest eyes_

_Bring me_

_To my knees and make me cry_

_And no one's ever done that_

_Everything was just a lie_

_And I know_

_Yes I know…"_

"Namine? Where are you?" he asked, speaking instead of singing. As soon as he called my name I was pushing ands shoving again, making my way to the sound of his voice. Seriously, where was he? This is impossible… oh! There he is. I timidly walked up to the stage, and he smiled that ear to ear Cheshire cat grin.

"_This is where it all begins_

_So tell me it will never end_

_I can't fool myself_

_It's you and no one else_

_If I could_

_Wish upon tomorrow_

_Tonight would never end_

_If you asked me I would follow_

_But for now I just pretend_

_If anyone can make me fall in love_

_You can_

_Show me that good things come to those who wait…"_

The crowd cheered, applauding and screaming and dancing. Roxas put his guitar down, looking at me fearfully. I stretched my hand out for him to take, and he hoisted me on stage. Another slow song started playing in the background.

"Listen, Namine. I don't care if you don't feel the same way, but…I…I've loved you since the beginning. Second grade, Mrs. Awakara's class." he fumbled out, looking anywhere but at me. I froze at the words.

So it was possible? My subconscious mind was right? It's safe to love him? But what about our friendship? Where would that go? I don't know what to do…

"Roxas…I love you too. But…"

"But what?" he asked, finally peeking at me. He looked dejected, pushed away.

"I need some time to think. My head is pounding." It wasn't a lie. My subconscious mind, or the ticking time bomb, was getting closer and closer to exploding on me. I couldn't allow that to happen! No! no…

Suddenly, out of no where, the highest of all high pitched screams shot throughout the room, making my head spin.

"FASHION EMERGENCY!" Kairi wailed over the crowd, pointing to a tear in her dress. It was silent for about ten seconds then all hell broke loose. People were screaming their heads off, running around frantically, heels were snapping, and ties, hats, and masks were flying high up in the air. Roxas and I, alarmed, threw ourselves into the crowd, searching for Kairi.

And then, a dark purple high top sneaker can flying at my face.

And it was black all around.

* * *

**(Roxas's POV)**

"Namine? Namine! Wake up!" I shouted frantically. The shoe that had knocked her unconscious rolled away. I checked her forehead, which was visibly changing colors, and cursed under my breath.

"Is she all right?" Kairi asked, running up to me. She picked the shoe up and shoved it into her purse. I glared at her.

"Your dumb little plan didn't work out very well, now did it?" I spat. She rolled her eyes.

"Roxas, it's all according to plan. Sorry for knocking her out, but she was about to make a big mistake and I needed a cover up." she smiled sheepishly as I cupped the small, sleeping blonde into my arms. She was surprisingly light.

"So your whole idea was to make it so that I would sing that song, to her specifically, and then suddenly it's happily ever after? Kairi, this is the twenty first century." I scolded, letting her lead us to a side door. As soon as I closed the door behind me, she smacked me with the same purple high top that knocked Namine out.

"What the Hell?" I shouted, noticing Sora in the room as well. He was edgy, walking around in circles in a panicky state.

"Stop talking like that! She loves you. She's told me so many times, it's retarded. She always says things like, 'I do love him, Kai, but what if he doesn't like me back? He'll leave. Then I'll be alone again.' or 'What if it ruins our friendship?' so you need to man up and love her, but treat her the exact same way." she explained, running up to Sora and telling him to breath. I pondered her words. She did…love me back? Really? But she was afraid I would leave her. It makes sense.

"Kairi? I'll do it."

"Do what?" she asked, confused.

"I'll be there for her. Tomorrow, get her to understand her feelings, then send her to me." I explained, and Kairi's face lit up. Sora collapsed, and then she was back with full attention to him.

I really hope I'm doing the right thing…

* * *

**Purelywhite-nami? PURPLE SHOE OF DOOM!!! :)**

**yeah, all of you peps out there, i am extremely sorry. i had the WORST case of writers block and it would not go away! writers block is the devil's pet dog. fo sho, man.**

**you know how in the beginning of this story i said me and my friends would do a party in the USA vid? well, it changed since New Moon came out. were doing... *drum roll***

**A TWILIGHT MUSICAL PARADY!!!!!!!! *crowd cheers***

**for all those who never have seen our ohter vids, go watch them! we are _the Lamoey, and we rock. our vids kill. go watch! go go go go go go go go go!!!!!_**

**i love all of you for being out there and supporting my story. it'll end in about two more chapters! :( but that gives me more time to write On The Outside Looking in! :)**

**btw, OTOLI has EXTREME writers block. so sorry!**


	10. Girl Talk and Confessions

**Chapter 10 girl talk**

**(Namine's POV)**

When I awoke, my head was throbbing, the room was spinning, and my forehead was so sore, it felt like I got smacked with a bowling ball. I groaned as I opened my eyes, but the lack of light was comforting.

Once my eyes adjusted, I looked around. I guess Kairi loaded us back into her private jet and we were heading home. Makes sense. When I brought my hand up to my head, just the slightest touch made me wince. I probably got a bruise the size of my fist. What happened?

"Sorry about that, Nami." Kairi whispered, and I slowly turned my head to her voice. Instead of Roxas seated next to me like normal, Kairi had switched out with him, cuddled up in a fleece blanket with an apologetic look on her face. I smiled.

"It's ok. I needed a distraction." I whispered back, peeking in front of us. Sora was saving the world on his DS and Roxas was fast asleep, headphones on, listening to some heavy rock metal crap.** (A/N I totally imagined Sora playing 368/2 days lol)**

"He confessed, right?" she asked lightly, measuring my expression and it's change. My lips pressed down into a hard line and my brow pulled together into my 'thinking mode'.

"Yeah…he said he loved me from the beginning. The very beginning, as in second grade." I explained. Kairi nodded her head in understanding.

"Do you love him?" she asked. I thought about that one. I did love him, more than anything. He was my sun, my moon, my stars, my world. But…did that mean love? I knew I loved him, but I thought like a brother. A best friend you'd die for. I knew I liked him, like, liked him liked him, but love? I never considered it.

"I don't know…" those are good words to sum it up, What I'm feeling inside.

"You don't know?" Kairi repeated sarcastically, eyeing me with a look. I flinched away from it.

"Yes, Kai. I don't know. I love him, but more like a brother. I like _like _him, but I don't know about love, in that sense." I explained, trying to make it sound better. She looked up to the ceiling in her 'thinking mode'.

"Yeah and all, but isn't like liking someone the same as loving them?" she asked, giving me the look again.

"No, there's a difference."

"Explain this difference to me, if you don't mind."

"Um…well….you see-"

"You love him, you dolt." Kairi concluded after my stuttering. I frowned.

"But…"

"No buts. Look into your heart, Namine. What do you see?" she asked in a whisper, her expression torn. I closed my eyes and looked. Whenever I thought about him, my heart would speed up ten fold and do back flips of joy. Whenever he was away, I felt alone, agonizingly so, and I was lifeless. But…

_Look at the facts, Namine. _SB countered, digging up deep memories of the past. _He was there for you, no matter what. When you forgot your umbrella that one day, when Zell stole your cookie, when you accidentally spilled chocolate milk all over your white dress. He was there, always there, taking care of you and loving you like he should. Don't fight Destiny, Namine._

Oh great. Now I was having conversations with myself without knowing it.

_I may be you, but I'm a separate, saner part of your brain. I'm always right._

Stop that. Your not right. Your wrong. If I step it up, even if he claims he loves me, he'll leave. They always leave. Riku said almost everyday that he loved me. Look at me now. He left, choosing Xion over me. I'm a mistake! I don't even think I was supposed to exist.

_Shut it! None of that, Namine Suzumiya! Riku left because he wasn't right for you. Then who came around to life you from the ashes of despair? Yes, Roxas. He'll never give up, Namine. It's fate._

Oh, so now your saying fate _and_ destiny are in on this?

_Maybe karma, too. Don't fight the facts. It all leads to the same thing._

You mean…

_Yes, you __**love**__ him. _

"Um…"

"Did you find it?" Kairi asked, excited. I glanced at her, unsure.

"Well, I just had an internal argument with myself, and possibly my insane side won." I said sarcastically, and Kairi frowned.

"Yeah, yeah, who cares. What does your _heart_ tell you to do?" she asked desperately, almost to the point of grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me senseless.

I thought about it, and my answer came immediately.

_Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!_

"Namine Suzumiya. So you love Roxas Akamura?" Kairi asked after a few minutes of staring at my blank expression. As soon as she said the words, a small smile crept up onto my face.

"Yes." I murmured, so quiet Kairi leaned in to hear. But in the end, she pulled back and beamed at me, triumphant.

"Phase S complete." she said gleefully.

"Phase S?"

"Psh. You already went through Phases A, B, C, D-"

"I get it , Kairi. So this is all apart of your plan?"

"Yup." she said, popping the 'p'.

"Your devious."

"I try." she smiled and gave me a big bear hug.

"Once this plane lands, your going straight home with him. And then, your going to work this out, or else you'll never see Agrabah." she threatened, and something clicked in my brain.

"Oh yeah. You still owe me." I stated, annoyed. Kairi smirked.

"Maybe Roxie will take you there for your honeymoon."

"Kairi, were not getting married." I mumbled, blushing anyway while my heart sped at the very thought of the two of us at the alter.

"Yeah, yeah."

* * *

Exactly like Kairi said, Our group of four separated and Roxas and I climbed into Rika's awaiting limo. It was completely silent the whole way home, and even quieter once we entered my mansion. Roxas never looked at me, although I stared like a moron. Once up by our separate bedrooms, we both paused, and that's when I first noticed I aligned my steps to match his. Huh.

"Right…see you later, Nams." he said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck and still avoiding eye contact. He turned and started to walk away when my feet acted on impulse and I ran up to him, hugging him from behind. He froze, shocked.

"Wait! Don't leave me, please." I begged, tears starting to run up into my eyes. He didn't respond.

"Roxas….I love you too. It might have taken me a while, but it's the truth. I was just…afraid. Afraid of heartbreak, pain, that stuff. It happened once already, and then you came, and you made it better. If I lost you…I wouldn't know how to live." I sobbed, squeezing his chest tighter. He still refused to move or respond, and I couldn't see his expression; his bangs were covering his eyes. I collapsed to the ground, as if my heart had imploded inside my chest. I wrapped my arms around my chest, sobbing. He still remained motionless and blank.

"I'm sorry. This is all my fault. I-I cause problems with everyone. I'm a mistake. I'm sorry I burdened you with my presence." I murmured, silently letting the tears flow. I closed my eyes, feeling the waterfalls fall.

It shocked me when his warm arms crushed me in a tight embrace.

"Namine…your not a problem. Your not a mistake. You never burdened me with anything." he cooed, rubbing circles on my back. I hugged my arms tighter to my chest.

"B-but all those things I did… I took your time away from you, you life."

"And I was happy to give them to you. Don't you see? I did it out of love. What's a life without your other? What's time when you have no way to spend it anyway?"

"You mean…your ok with me? How I am? Damaged goods?" I sniffed, relaxing my arms slowly. His musical laugh filled the silence.

"Your not damaged. And if you were, I'll bet I could fix it."

I gave in, hugging him back.

…

And then, my phone went off.

Sighing, Roxas pulled away, giving me an apologetic smile. I smiled back, wiping my eyes before answering.

"Hello?"

"Sooooo? How'd it go?" Kairi chirped, using her excited curious voice. I giggled.

"It went fine, Kairi. Perfectly fine. You eighteen year plan is finally over."

* * *

That night, Kairi and Sora both came over, _Yes Man _in hand. Sora exclaimed, 'movie night to celebrate the birth of a new happy couple!' and now, all four of us were in my living room, (the biggest one) plopped on two different couches, eyes glued to the screen. Sora and Kairi were cooing at all of the romantic parts, and laughing at the right times, cuddling, and sighing in content, truly the perfect, happy couple. Roxas and I sat on the white couch, hand in hand, with my head on his shoulder and a fluffy memory foam pillow in my lap. Roxas had his usual bowl of popcorn, shoving it in at extreme speeds, and finishing the whole giant bowl off in ten minutes. I rolled my eyes at his behavior.

"If you choke, I'm going to laugh." I joked, watching him throw the bowl behind the couch. He pouted at me.

"So your going to sit there and laugh while your boyfriend chokes to death? Wow Nams." he joked back, hugging me close. I blushed at the word, but I was thrilled to hear it.

"Aw, Sor-Sor, look at them. They are so adorable!" Kairi cooed, popping her lower lip out into her puppy-dog pout.

"Aw, I know, Kai-Kai. Our little babies have grown up!" Sora cooed with her, ad together they stared at us with the same expression, slowly cracking a smile before we all burst out into laughter.

"Well, I would say ;Hey Nami, now you have to go face the wrath of Auntie!' But you've already met her and she loves you. And Rox, I would tell you 'you've got to go face Noctis!' but he already approves of you. So that sucks. I've got nothing to say." Sora joked. Kairi giggled. "Now then, when you get married, Me, Olette, Selphie, and Larxene will be bridesmaids. Hayner, Axel, Sora, and Pence will be best men or whatever. Now I was thinking white roses-"

"Kairi! What is with you and thinking ahead?" Roxas wined, and I threw a stray piece of popcorn at her. She smirked.

"Why put off the inevitable? I'm starting to plan right now."

"Whatever." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Ok, so as I was saying, white roses in the bouquet, with pink and white roses wrapped in silk ribbons down the isle. The carpet will be light pink, and I'll have doves. Lots of doves. And lots of roses, and the theme is white and pink…where do you like the setting to be?"

"Kairi, no." Roxas said warningly, measuring my amused expression from the corner of his eye.

"Shut up, Roxie-poo. This is between the bride and her bridesmaid." Kairi spat back.

"Kairi, I'm not getting married. We just got together today!" I complained. She sighed, irritated.

"But you've been together for so long, it doesn't matter anymore! Now Namine, locations!" she demanded.

"I don't know… anything but the beach." I allowed. Kairi squealed in delight.

"Ok. So my vision is simple, so maybe my backyard, or your backyard, all of our friends in white dresses and black tuxes…"

"She'll never shut up, you know." Roxas whispered in my ear, amused. I gigged silently.

"I know. But she won't give up. So why not mess with her?" I said.

"Hey, you never know. She might be right in being prepared." Roxas teased, smirking at my blush.

"What? Your going to pop the question out of nowhere?" I teased back.

"Maybe. But only because I know you'll say yes." he chuckled.

"Yeah, I would." I admitted quietly, "What did Kairi say before?"

"What?"

"Don't put off the inevitable."

* * *

**So sorry, it's a short chapter. but....IM SO HAPPY! they are finally freaking together. and the next chapter, is the last. =( so i got to make it good. i already planned what was in store. :) **

**a wonderful surprise indeed for Nams in the next chappy!**

**DISCLAIMER: i forgot again, yes i did. in the last chapter, the song i used was You Can by David Archie. it's a beautiful song, like every other one he sings. :) and i don't own Kingdom Hearts... *sad sigh***


	11. White Roses

**lol fail. just a warning, i suck badly at fluff. so yeah. **

**disclaimer: I don't own kingdom hearts! omg i remembered a disclaimer! be proud of me! :)**

**Chapter 11 epilogue: White Roses**

(five years later)

a lot can happen with time. Some things change, some things don't. that's life, and I'm living it the right way now. With Roxas.

Roxas and I have been together for five years now, and if you looked from a distance, we were the same. The same laughing, joking, happy best friends, never separated. But in the inside, we were closer. The happier, more cheerful couple, finally realizing their feelings for each other. It was wonderful to say the least, that our relationship was still as close as it always was.

As for the things that changed, I was officially, technically, sort of related to Kairi now. three years ago, she had gotten pregnant with a cute baby faced little girl with jet black hair, (weird) who she had named Yuffie. Sora was the best father ever, and together they were the best threesome you could find. Kairi had made me the godmother slash aunt, and Roxas was godfather slash uncle. For three years, Kairi still planned her wedding extreme for me. I swear. She trimmed the grass in the backyard, set up benches, wrapped them in silk ribbons, painted everything white, made a white alter of pink and white roses, set up beautiful bouquets of white and pink roses everywhere she could put them, tied the surrounding trees in the forest with the very same bouquets, and even tied pink, red, and white Japanese lanterns from the roof of my house to the trees in the forest, and she did it all while still pregnant with Yuffie. Kairi never ceases to amaze me.

"Auntie Nam-Nam!" a squeaky, jolly voice called, fumbling her letters together as she spoke. I turned to the voice, crouching down low to her level.

"Yuffie! How's my little niece doing?" I cooed. The girl raced into my arms and I picked her up, spinning around. She squealed in delight.

"I'm fine, Nam-Nam! Happy birthday!" she giggled, her headband whipping her in the face. She was dressed in head to toe ninja attire, and she even lugged around a giant cardboard shrunken, that was twice the size of her head.

"Oh, thank you, Yuffie. Do you know where your uncle is?" I asked, curious as I set her back down on the ground.

"Uncle Woxie is with mommy and daddy!" she giggled, pulling my hand towards the back door. I smiled and giggled with the little three year old to lug me outside.

"Namine! Happy birthday!" Kairi shouted, running up and twirling me around in a hug. Yuffie ran off and jumped into Sora's arms.

"Aw, thanks guys." I mumbled, looking around. At Kairi's 'wedding table' where she claimed she would place the wedding cake, was a much smaller, more rational birthday cake with some cookies, drinks, and cheese and crackers. There was a large banner hung up on the alter, on it written 'Happy 30th, Namine!' all of my closest friends were gathered, such as Olette, Hayner, Ventus, Aqua, Terra, Selphie, Axel, Larxene, Tifa, Marlene, Denzel, Cloud, my mother and father, Roxas's parents, (strange) Zexion, Demyx, Zidane, Garnet, Rikku, Yuna, and Paine. Wow. That's a lot of people.

I ran around, hugging everyone, and making small talk with a couple people. In then end, I was in a corner with my original best buddies, Sora, Kairi, little Yuffie, and Roxas.

"Happy birthday." Roxas whispered, wrapping his arms around my waist. I giggled.

"Auntie Nam-Nam! Open my pwesent!" Yuffie squealed, jumping up and down with a little box in her hand. I sighed, taking it lightly from her grasp.

"Aw, thank you Yuffie!" she had made a cute multicolored handprint in a plaster mold and labeled it: to auntie Namine. I love you! I picked up the little raven haired girl and wrapped her up in a hug. From there, Yuffie jumped, flying into Kairi's awaiting arms. She did it so many times, we expected it now a days.

"Here Namine!" Sora chirped, handing me an elegantly wrapped box with a tag that said 'from Sora and Kairi'. I opened it up, and held up a gleaming silver necklace, a thin chain connected to a small yellow star pendant. I smiled.

"It's beautiful, guys. Thank you." I murmured, placing it around my neck. Roxas smirked, handing me a toolbox. I stared at him, puzzled.

"What's this…?"

"Your present from me, duh." he pointed out, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I stared at the heavy yellow box for ten long seconds before dropping it on the ground.

"Why on Earth did you buy me a _toolbox?" _I hissed, stabbing an accusing finger at his chest. He seemed to be enjoying himself, holding back laughter as he held his hands up in surrender.

"Just wait! Namine, calm down. Why don't you check out the inside?" he asked innocently, pointing at the yellow crap box. I growled but did so.

I also noticed the strange quietness of the entire yard. No one was talking, and when I looked around at the crowd, everyone was staring back with excited happy expressions. Weird….

I thrust the lid open, glaring down at the hammers and screwdrivers and so on. I then focused my glare on Roxas.

"Keep looking." he pressed, still fighting the urge to smile. I rolled my eyes and started tearing the box apart. I threw everything out of it, digging around until I hit something soft and light. When I picked it up…

It was a blue velvet box.

Roxas took it out of my hands gently, kneeling down on one knee, the smile finally exploding across his face. My friends and family started bubbling up in hopeful joy, excited. Kairi and Yuffie exchanged a glance, and Sora grinned. I just stared, my hear racing and my head spinning.

"Namine Suzumiya. Will you marry me?" Roxas asked lightly, his smile only showing a hint of being unsure. I melted to the ground, tackling him without thinking. The crowd exploded.

"Yes." I whispered into his ear. Yuffie screamed loudly, frightened by the sudden outburst of the crowd, but all of the other noises were screams of joy. My parents (well, my mom) was crying her eyes out, hugging Mrs. Awakara as the danced around in a little circle.

"I told you so!" Ven and Aqua shouted, high-fiving each other.

"See?! My preparations were needed!" Kairi told me, hands on her hips. Sora had run off, trying to calm the panicky Yuffie.

"Like I knew!" I countered, tears streaming.

"She was thinking ahead." Roxas whispered, tears of his own in his eyes. I reached up, lightly kissing him full on the lips, before pulling away and giving him the best bear hug I could manage.

"SO, I was thinking, everyone, here, invited to the wedding, Yuffie could be your flower girl, Denzel maybe could be your ring bearer, you Dad will have a black tux, you! Oh, your wedding dress will be twice as good as the one you had before. I'll put gold lace in it maybe…oh! Or real pink and white roses to match the theme! But then they'll wilt and die…oh well. Ill think of that later. Roxas, you'll have a white tux, with all that jazz, and maybe I'll jell your hair back…or not…" she stopped when Roxas gave her a look, "Whatever. Fine, you can keep your hair all spiky and stuff. The cake will be grand, maybe five feet into the air…"

"There she goes." I giggled.

"But it's for the best. No one gets a wedding planner like Kairi." Roxas chuckled back.

"So. The rest of our lives together?" he asked, smiling.

"I wouldn't want it any other way."

* * *

**LOL EPIC FAIL.**

**i'm done! T.T so sad. but this is the first fanfic i have ever finished! I'm so proud of myself. i love all of you for reading, being there, and reviewing! you are my happy moon life thanksgiving. (WTF? lol)**

**THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU a million times thank you! **

**love all of you. alot. hugs and kisses, your all invited to Namine's wedding! **


End file.
